My mom thought I was mentally retarded because I was so happy. She actually took me to the doctor because I would wake up, laugh, eat and sleep all night long. From the time I was two weeks old, I was sleeping eight hours a day.

Do you want children?

Oh, hell yeah. But not difficult ones. I'd like nice happy children, not obnoxious, whiny ones.

What is your dream car?

A hybrid. I would love, in theory, to drive a Hummer but I couldn't do it; I couldn't bring myself to be that much of an ass.

What do you think about philosophy?

It can be cool. It can be really obnoxious, like when people talk about philosophy: "What is nothing? Does nothing exist?" But overall it is a good thing to just think.

Should people be allowed to smoke in restaurants?

Oh hell no, it's disgusting. The smell makes the food taste like crap.

Who were some of your favorite SNL regulars?

Adam Sandler most definitely, Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, the whole group when Kevin Nealon was doing the news … Dennis Miller was completely awesome. When Norm MacDonald was doing the news I hated him when I first saw him, I was like, "what is this 'note to self'? This is so stupid, it doesn't make any sense." But then it grows on you, now I go back and its like, "I just want Norm MacDonald to do the news again, he was so exciting!"

Tell us about your first crush.

I think I had a crush on my mom's friend when I was about five years old. You know how you actually think you have a chance when you're five? It's like if I'm extra cute, and if I eat all the peas on my plate I'll stand a chance.

Letterman, Leno or Conan?

Oh, Conan. Conan by far, he's much funnier. He's got the good mix of not being a complete asshole, like Letterman, but he's still hilarious. Leno's boring, Leno's for old people.

What do you think of Colin Powell?

I think its too bad he's not president. Comparatively, anyway. I mean I wouldn't have voted for him if he'd been the choice, but I think he's one of the only intelligent people in power right now. And yet he doesn't have the authority, he's not the one making decisions, but he's trying so hard. I feel like he actually has some ideas about what we should be doing, and he's trying really hard to walk the line between saying what he thinks to try and influence people, and at the same time not pissing off the administration too much because for better or worse he's still kind of an administration puppet. So I think its unfortunate that he's not in charge and making decisions, because he's the only one who's anywhere up there in the administration that actually knows the effects of war.

When you were a kid, what would you pick when the ice-cream man came by?

The Mickey Mouse ice creams, you know what I'm talking about? It was a vanilla ice-cream face with chocolate ice cream to make the features and little eyes and the big ears would be chocolate ears. I'd always eat the ears first and work my way into the face.