And then bad marketing happened. You were thrilled to have won a record deal with RCA, but they fucked you over, and that's the truth. They gave you those two shit songs, "A Moment Like This" and "Before Your Love" and made the obligatory music videos. Then they played these atrocities over and over until America grew tired and distant and cold, and forgot why everyone fell in love with you in the first place. "Who is this Kelly Clarkson, and why did we vote for her if she's just going to sing this annoying crap?" American Idolizers wondered.
But not me, Kelly. I stayed faithful to you, insisting to my friends ad infinitum that it was RCA's fault, not yours, that you were actually an amazing singer whose talents were being sadly and cruelly wasted. When you released your first album "Thankful," a good half-year later than we'd expected, I gave you a chance. But I'm sorry, sweetie-I think you got screwed again. Let me lay it out for you.
Unlike many pop stars (Britney, this is for you) Kelly Clarkson can sing. Her voice was soulful and rich on American Idol, and still is. And unlike other pop stars (ahem, Christina), she seems like a genuinely likable person, someone you would want to hang out with. Of course, that's what makes this album's disappointments all the more crushing. The songs are slightly more interesting than her first two singles, but that's not saying much.
The album tries a little bit of this and that, and doesn't go very far in any direction. "Miss Independent," with its bumpin' background beat, is RCA's obvious and sadly failed attempt to give Clarkson some Justin Timberlake-style street cred. "Just Missed the Train" is more pop-rock, whereas "Some Kind of Miracle" is a ballad. The most interesting song on the album is "You Thought Wrong," featuring Tamyra Gray. The two women's styles are similar enough to harmonize while being different enough to add some much-needed flavor.
Ten grueling weeks on "Idol" more than showcased Clarkson's impressive versatility. Her album doesn't need to prove it; now it's time for her to get her own personality. Part of Clarkson's problem lies in her "girl-next-door" appeal, the same one that made her attractive to begin with. She has no distinctive persona to set her apart from the dozens of other pop stars. We've got Britney doing the virgin-whore thing, Christina doing the just-plain-whore thing, Pink doing the rebel thing. Hoku and Mandy Moore played the part of the everygirl, just as Clarkson is doing now, but that's probably why they've been losing airtime.
The songs on "Thankful" aren't going to help Clarkson express a distinctive style. Remember how both Clarkson and runner-up Justin Guarini sang "A Moment Like This" for the "American Idol" finale? And remember how they both sounded pretty good doing it? All of the songs on the CD are like that-so generic, anyone could have sung them and they'd still be the same damn song.
Take the first song, "The Trouble with Love Is." It's surprisingly good, with a workable dance beat. Then you realize that, fun as it is, it's actually pretty fucking forgettable. In fact, the whole album is terribly unmemorable. Five minutes after listening to the album, I already can't remember how any of the songs go, aside from "A Moment Like This," which I know by heart only because it's played incessantly at CVS. The unoriginal lyrics to "Trouble" go as follows: "I swore I'd never love again / Swore my heart would never mend / Said love wasn't worth the pain / But then I hear you call my name." As if every angsty teen hasn't written those words in her diary at one time or another. As if there weren't already a million other pop songs with the same damn lines. This song, sadly, is fairly representative of the whole album. Nothing about the album is offensively or egregiously bad. It's just … very remarkable in its unremarkableness.
The album makes up for its mistakes by including "Kelly Clarkson Connection Software," which includes access to the Kelly Clarkson website, updates on Kelly Clarkson news, and, most notably, the video for "A Moment Like This." The video is quite moving but only because it includes several clips of Clarkson's rise to the top on "Idol." If you weren't an "Idol" fan to begin with, you won't really care. And whether or not you're an "Idol" fan, this effort is just not worth it.
So Kelly, sweetie, there you have it. I love you, and I sincerely wish the best for you, but you're breaking my heart. Do yourself and all of your fans a favor and ditch your people the first chance you get. Go find someone who will fashion for you a marketable personality and some catchy songs.