Written and directed by NYU filmschool graduate Eli Roth, "Cabin Fever" is the goriest, funniest, most preposterous thing to hit the screens since Sam Raimi's "Evil Dead" sent heads rolling through theaters everywhere in the 80s. Knowing that Roth had studied briefly with David Lynch in the past, it's certainly no surprise to me that he chose a more unconventional road on his way to horror paradise-and, following the old adage that truth is in fact stranger than fiction, decided to make a flesh-eating virus the villain of this particular wack-job-in-the-woods flick. Roth's story follows five utterly detestable and hilariously idiotic teens on a rollicking excursion into the glorious amenities of a solitary cabin in the woods: the view, the trees, the peace and quiet, the drinking, the drugs and the licentious opportunities (both missed and taken) for premarital sex in a location their parent's cellphones can't even reach. Victimized by the cinematic influence of both "Deliverance," and "Evil Dead," the kids are gradually exposed to a dangerous flesh-eating virus which, one by one, turns them into seething, rotting masses of boils and bone right before (unfortunately) our very eyes.
The effects of the virus from infection to onset to putrid death are rather expedient. This bodes well for the audience, as the roles (and the actors cast into them) that Roth has planned out really don't have much of a shelf life to speak of. It's strangely endearing to see the grunting jock (James DeBello) wearing a trucker cap threaten to kill people, shoot at defenseless animals with BB guns and espouse the term "gay" like it's his job (what I assume is a sardonic commentary of the egregious application of the word "gay" by the more lowbrow among us to stand in place of "stupid")-but just for a little while. It's absolutely hysterical to see an unfortunate ex-child actor with an equally unfortunate goatee (Rider Strong) continually fall on his face as he tries and tries to be the Dudley Do-Right of the bunch. It's even funnier to see the resident pretty-boy (Joey Kern-a poor man's James Van Der Beek) and his perma-booty-call (Cerina Vincent) have their ridiculous sex life become inconvenienced by a terribly contagious flesh-eating virus and the constant intrusion of their less-experienced friends (and did I mention the terribly contagious flesh-eating virus?). However, to reiterate, they were kept in "good" condition for just the correct length of time-any longer and I was sure I was going to puke.
Which reminds me: the second piece of advice I have to give to you is to bring a vomit bag. "Cabin Fever," which was surely shot digitally, certainly spares no expense in bringing us an up-close-and-personal view of all of its disgusting, most base bodily eruptions (as it were). Filmed beautifully for a horror flick, we also have the (mis)fortune of a masterful level of incredible and unbelievably realistic (albeit unbelievably violent and often unnecessary, it seems) detail. One certainly can't fault the cinematographer for that-this is a flesh-eating virus after all, and as such it is a bit more natural than pod people, giant blobs from outer space or a man in a Christmas sweater with knives for fingers. All I know is that I don't think I've ever seen a movie with my eyes closed for this long before. The squishing sounds in the background were certainly enough for me at those points, anyway.
But "Cabin Fever" isn't all blood and guts-there is a certain ratio of wit and tongue-in-cheek humor in the script that even the worst acting can't fuck up. In fact, most of the time, it just seems to make it more amusing. Once ill, the characters are prone to ridiculous hallucinations that heretofore have only been witnessed in drug movies, including but not limited to a mildly retarded child performing kung-fu after the battle cry "PANCAKES!" and a man in a bunny suit just hanging out in a hospital ER. Equally preposterous non-sequiturs and knee-slapping situations abound throughout the script, and the blank-eyed, untrained rambling deliveries add all the more spice to "Cabin Fever's" broth.
So, see it. See the damn movie. It's funny, it's fun, and it's certainly not going to win an Oscar anytime soon. But really, who cares?
Seriously though, do bring a vomit bag.