It started at a young age, really. Back before the accident. I was seven, I remember, and just a touch over four feet tall. I asked mother about college, and schooling in general, on one of our brisk morning walks that we used to take. Her response was, 'Whatever it is, it's gots to be funky.' Eleven years later, here I am.
What accident?
When we lost our prize-winning Dachshund, Saunders, in a freak gardening accident. He choked on vomit. We're not really sure whose vomit though. You can't really dust for vomit prints now can you?
How do you feel that coming from Williamstown has affected your adaptation to the pace of life in Amherst?
In the beginning I was overwhelmed by the throngs of people in town and on campus. When this happens now I just huff some aderol and put on a little Barry White; it makes me feel much better.
If you could play any jazz instrument, which would it be? And why?
Most likely the Kazoo. It is definitely the sexiest of all instruments.
Who inspires your jazz?
I think my Rwandese pen pal, Ndagijimana Bernard, answered this question best when he said: 'I'm unemployed, I have not a job fixed yet, but I live no matter what job for to gain the life as our custom obliges it to us.'
How did you end up with a Rwandese pen pal?
I thought I was responding to a foreign "partner" service if you catch my drift. I guess it is just the story of my life though. Go out looking for a 15-year-old princess, and come back with a 24-year-old Rwandan man.
Would you ever visit Rwanda?
No, I've been to Canada once before and there really isn't much to see.
We hear that bird-watching is another one of your many hobbies. How do you find time to get so much done at Amherst?
By using metric time, I can manage every moment of my day super efficiently. There are also a few little tricks I use to help speed up everyday processes as well. For example, why urinate in the toilet when you can save time by going in the shower? And a diet solely of apple sauce cuts chewing time.
How did you end up joining the crew team?
Another convenient accident actually. Me and [my friend] Carl hopped ship in Hong Kong and ended up as loopers over in Tibet. Six months later I get a letter from the Llama telling me to find eternal bliss ... hey whatever floats your boat, man.
Do you have any interesting nicknames?
In Nam they used to call me Tripod ... I think it was because I could do no-handed push ups.
-Charlie Samuelson