Well, there are a lot of differences between Eaton and Amherst. For example, there was a group at my high school called 'IHAB' (I Hate Andy Bruns) formed because I was pro-choice, in favor of gay rights, against racism and wasn't at all religious. Of course all of that just makes me an average student at Amherst. There just isn't enough time to tell you all the stories about Eaton, so let me just say that if you enjoyed the movie 'Deliverance,' you should definitely visit. But in all honesty I do miss arguing with all of the Confederate flag-waving, Rush Limbaugh-loving, KKK members from my school-both the teachers and students.
Was there anything else special about your high school?
Six words: Drive your tractor to school day.
Which "Family Guy" character do you most wish you could be?
I would love to be Peter, he's got it all. He 'positively can do all the things that make us laugh and cry,' his best friend is an alcoholic dog that talks, and on top of that, he's married to Lois who rivals Jessica Rabbit for the hottest cartoon female of all-time. In the words of Quagmire, giggity giggity goo.
What's your favorite thing about golf?
Definitely the prestige and attention the team gets here at school. Not many people know this, but the golf team has a cult following. At every tournament [there are] massive galleries of Lord Jeff fanatics painted purple and white from head-to-toe. Our fans, or our 'sixth man' as the team refers to them, have definitely contributed to our success this year. I wasn't there, but our fans rushed the green when we beat Williams at NESCACs last fall. What a great atmosphere.
What's your biggest concern for the upcoming presidential election? Who do you predict will win?
Well, of course I'm pushing for Kerry, so I guess my biggest concern is that we don't 'misunderestimate' Bush, like we did four years ago, when we're developing our campaign "strategery." But Kerry's campaign is going to be in vain anyway-if you haven't already heard, God told Pat Robertson weeks ago that Bush is going to win in a landslide. I guess us Dems will have to wait until 2008.
What was your best childhood experience?
I don't know about my best experience, it's tough to pick just one, but there's a moment from second grade that I'll always remember. I was involved in a playground argument and a teacher stepped in. She asked the other kid for his side of the story first, and when he took some liberties in telling his account, I interrupted with, 'That's bologna!' Apparently that wasn't appropriate language for an 8-year-old because the teacher was shocked and asked me, 'What kind of language is that?' I quickly shot back, 'Italian.' Now, if you've heard of a better joke from an 8-year-old I'd be glad to hear it. Unfortunately the boundless potential of my wit at such a young age placed staggering expectations on me. Like J.D. Salinger and Bobby Fischer I became a recluse and didn't tell another joke until just a few months ago. It was both a gift and a curse.
How did you manage to get such a sweet single as a freshman? What's it like living alone?
I guess I'll never know how I got such a great room, but I wouldn't say I live alone. More often than not there are several people in here watching TV, playing Xbox, watching a movie or just hanging out. The worst thing is that I've lost control of the television. I'm not at all proud of it, but 'Maid in Manhattan' has been shown multiple times here in Pratt 110, and every Wednesday at nine my room is overrun by 'OC' watchers. I'm ashamed.
What do you think is the biggest flaw of our generation?
Like I was just saying, our pop culture is a disgrace. Reality TV is the sign that the apocalypse is upon us. 'The Passion' is even supposed to be based on reality, and Britney Spears is one of the few artists ever to have less vocal talent than Bob Dylan. Don't get me wrong, Dylan is my favorite artist of all time, he couldn't sing either but he had more than dancing ability, studio tricks, and sex appeal to base his career on.
What song would you like to make the whole world listen to?
"Political Science" by Randy Newman. Before he was writing the themes to Pixar films he was still pretty damn good. This song was supposed to be funny because it was so ridiculous when it was written but now it just sounds a little too familiar to what's actually going on. Check it out.
-Priyanka Jacob