Oh, it's a good morning. There's a nice smell in the air. It smells like wood, cigarettes and comforter.

Oh, okay. So you're a senior, huh?

Yeah, that's what they tell me. It's a good gig-school, that is. It's going to be sad to give it up. I like the dining hall, and I like buying books, and most of all I like my sophomore year room under the stairs in Marsh. Oh and Val's macaroni and cheese.

Oh, Marsh. That's the arts house, right? Isn't that a little bit esoteric?

Only as esoteric as you make it. It's my mansion on the hill, so I love it. Very familiar, very nice, very cosy. Being here is like getting a hug from mama.

So where are you from?

I'm from New York City-Queens. I take the E train into the city, and sometimes the R. I think it's the best city on the planet. I once made a Lego [model] of New York City when I was in elementary school, and all the boroughs were on those green things.

Fascinating. Speaking of elementary school, what do you think of babies?

I hate babies, Khira. I really ... I would stomp on a baby if I saw one. They're so gross. They have their fecal matter in a sack-and they wear that sack! If I were a woman, I would be on five kinds of contraception so I would never have a baby. Babies are gross. Except for that cute one in Valentine yesterday.

Oh wow. Well, let's talk about something you like. Any nice courses this semester?

Well, I'm taking this really awesome course about how different people respond to traumatic events, and I love the professor. I like the fact that we approach the subject from an interdisciplinary angle. And I like my thesis, of course.

What's your thesis about? Wait, what's your major?

I'm a theater and dance major, heavy on the theater, light on the dance. My thesis is going to be an episodic performance piece that takes place in non-linear time that explores the shifting relationships between the three central characters in the piece.

Will it involve arthropods of any kind?

No! However, we might be having a screening of the 1980 classic, "Arthur."

So wax wise. Give some advice to the class of 2008. And, well, to 2007, too.

1. Get a good pencil case: you always lose pens at this school, but if you have a nice pencil case, you will not. 2. Get a job; you will need it. 3. Number three, huh? Well, yeah.

What organizations are you involved in?

Good ol' WAMH since freshman year. WAMH's been pretty much my only constant these four years, other than the theater department. There's something Zen about sitting in the MCR [Master Control Room] for two hours talking to a bunch of townies, you know?

That's just great. Finally, what have you learned about love after attending this fine institution?

Oh God. Well. I've learned that a D.P. Dough [calzone] is a lot like a hook-up: it seems like a good idea when you're intoxicated at night, but then you wake up the next morning with a bad taste in your mouth.