"Hitch" follows the business and personal life of Alex "Hitch" Hitchens, New York City's own "love consultant." Hitch believes that with the right training, any well-intentioned man can win the heart of any woman. He peddles his thorough and effective advice through word-of-mouth only, becoming personally invested in his clients and guiding them step-by-step through romantic dos and don'ts. Along the way, he meets Albert (played by a scene-stealing Kevin James), a rotund investment banker seeking the affections of a rich, sexy, heiress (Amber Valletta).
Meanwhile, Hitch's own personal life takes a (un)surprising turn when he becomes nominally involved and romantically invested with a jaded workaholic reporter named Sara (Eva Mendes). The rest of the story is as predictable as these things come. Albert wins the heart of his beloved heiress, only to lose it unexpectedly through a misunderstanding. The same thing happens to Hitch and Sara. There is the scene where it becomes clear to everybody that it was all one big misunderstanding, followed by the scene where the couples might get back together but don't because of foolish pride. I'll leave it to you to guess what the last scene of the movie involves. But here's a hint: It's a wedding.
This movie really fails to deliver on two romantic comedy musts: dialogue and chemistry. James, who has made a career of wooing svelte, attractive women on the sitcom "King of Queens," carries out the only believable on-screen romance, while Hitch and Sara's connection seems to be based largely on a Benadryl-induced haze and frequent deceit and ill treatment. The two never really sizzle, and it is in the presence of Sara that Hitch pulls out some of his corniest one-liners.
In some ways, sticking to the basics really saves this movie. Some things are overused for a reason, a fact to which the movie's black guy-white guy dance scene will attest. James is at his comic best, expressing himself through arrhythmic body spasms, while Smith plays the tolerant smooth operator with his typical panache. Even with this dismal script, Smith still retains his fine-tuned comic timing and keeps the early scenes going briskly.
Unfortunately, as the movie runs on (and on-it clocks in at just under two hours, a big no-no for such light romantic fluff) it forgets about comedy and the romances become the sole focus. The climactic scene involving a Mini Cooper and mistaken identity is so painfully awkward and predictable, I felt embarrassed to watch it. This movie defines the word "renter." Unless you're hard up for Valentine's Day plans or a diehard Will Smith fan, you will definitely be able to live without watching this underachieving flick.