The lack of a kitchen, time and money prevent me from cooking a great deal here at Amherst. So you can imagine how happy I was to learn that my friends' Super Bowl festivities were to include a guacamole competition. At first I thought I had this contest in the bag. My homemade guac had always been a hit at parties and I figured I had this little green dip down to a science.

Before I knew it, Sunday afternoon had rolled around. With the concentration of a surgeon, I tasted and fiddled with my bright green dip, making sure that it tasted absolutely perfect. Yet no matter what I did, it seemed to lack punch.

Texture is vital to the success of any guac, and if it is over-mashed and over-mixed, it will turn into a uniform green paste not unlike the guacamole served in cafeterias. By this time, guests had begun to trickle in and were admiring my elegantly simple presentation. My friends could tell that this Martha Stewart-type presentation could only be the work of The Flaming Chef.

The competition was going to be fierce. Alicia and a group of her friends created a special guacamole, while Dan (last year's winner) sat in front of me carefully making his creation. The most mysterious of all was Joe, who locked himself away in his room in order to make his special guac in complete secrecy. My friend Bess labeled each contestant's guacamole and handed around ballots for everyone to cast their votes on. Tasting time had begun!

I started with Joe's, which had a slight orangey-brown tinge to it and was definitely different than your average guac: chunky with a touch of sweetness. Alicia and company's featured a prominent onion flavor with a good smattering of pepper. Next was Dan, whose guacamole was similar to my own, except a bit tastier. While my guacamole was perfectly textured, next to the competition it tasted rather bland. When the results were tallied, they were not in my favor. Joe's guac (whose secret ingredients included oranges and mangoes) was crowned the winner, while I came in at a distant third. It was a disappointment for sure, but not quite the embarrassment I imagined.

Looking back, I can see where I went wrong: I forgot to gently crush the chopped onion, jalapenos and garlic to release their flavors in the dip. But don't worry, next year I'll be back for the championship. For now, here is my recipe:

Flaming Chef's Super Bowl Guacamole

1 red onion, chopped

1 jalapeno pepper, seeded and finely chopped

1 clove of garlic, minced

1 tomato, seeded and chopped

4 avocados, ripened

1 lemon

Chopped cilantro (to taste)

Salt and pepper

1) Combine the onion and pepper with the minced garlic in a bowl, and use a pestle or blunt object to crush the juices out of the ingredients. Add the tomato.

2) In a separate bowl, peel, pit, and mash the avocados with a fork until the mash is coarser than the desired consistency. Mix in the juice of half a lemon to prevent the avocados from browning.

3) Mix in the onion, pepper, garlic and tomatoes, along with chopped cilantro, salt and black pepper to taste. Garnish with a wedge of lemon and a sprig of cilantro.