Wemette '05 shows us one 'Hell' of a time with new play
By Angie J. Han, Managing Arts and Living
Any Christian would consider it common knowledge that Jesus Christ was crucified on Good Friday and resurrected on Easter Sunday. Indeed, it is the very basis of the religion. But what, exactly, did Jesus do while he was dead? Tactfully scheduled for this past weekend-that is, the weekend after Good Friday and Easter-"Three Days in Hell" chronicles the events of those three important days.

According to playwright Jonathan Wemette, Jesus (William Unsworth '06E) spent Friday and Saturday night at Satan's modestly decorated home with former thieves Barnabas (UMass student Sean George) and Tryphon (John Timothy '07) as well as Satan himself (Brian Lewis '08). To Satan's deep annoyance, Jesus' sudden arrival throws a wrench in Satan's plans for dinner with Karen (Honora Talbott '07), a pretty secretary who is "obsessed with the Messiah."

"Hell" opens promisingly, with a hugely entertaining phone conversation between God and Satan. We only see and hear Satan's side, but it's not hard to figure out what God might be saying on the other end. The sheer absurdity of the situation is enough to make one chuckle; with Wemette's witty script and Lewis' precise acting, it's difficult not to laugh out loud.

However, the novelty soon wears off, and the first act starts to drag. Characters and story are introduced, all of which seem intriguing, but Wemette continues setting up the characters and plot long after we're ready to move on. Happily, "Hell" picks up after the intermission. Act Two follows all of Saturday and Sunday morning in the time it took the first act to show us Friday night. To sum up: Karen and Satan have a disastrous dinner date; Jesus saves the righteous, Karen among them; and Barnabas and Tryphon stay for Sunday lunch with Satan.

More than anything, "Hell" is anchored by its lively characters. Tryphon hardly ever talks, but when he does open his mouth he doesn't waste a word. The rest of the time, Timothy's body language speaks as loudly as any of Barnabas' incessant chatter. George handles a difficult role with grace and charm. Talkative, clumsy Barnabas easily could have been more annoying than funny (think Jar-Jar Binks), but instead comes across as a likable guy.

The weakest character by far is Karen. She's likeable enough, but ultimately is more functional than she is interesting. If Talbott doesn't seem to be in league with the other actors, it's only because she has so little with which to work.

Jesus is as serene and graceful as one would expect him to be; he's also as exasperating and evasive as one has always suspected him to be. One comic scene has him speaking with his father on the phone. Jesus sounds like nothing so much as a whiny teenager, proving once and for all that no matter how far you get in life, your parents will always know exactly how to get under your skin.

But nothing tops Lewis' flawless portrayal of Satan. Lewis gives one of those rare performances that is so spot-on, we forget he's acting at all. This Satan is neurotic, uptight, painfully awkward-and utterly lovable.

"Hell" is hilariously irreverent without being mean; in fact, it's surprisingly touching. The heart of the play lies in the understated but genuine affection between Barnabas and Tryphon. Think of them as a Biblical-era Jay and Silent Bob. The most touchingly heroic gesture in the play is not Jesus's sacrifice for and salvation of all humanity, but Barnabas' decision to stay in Hell with Tryphon when it is revealed that Barnabas is bound for Heaven but Tryphon is not.

Wemette's writing is both witty and laugh-out-loud funny. He incorporates clever wordplay and Biblical humor-Satan runs out of wine, so he fools Jesus into performing the water-into-wine miracle. The comedy isn't limited to the script and the acting, either. Costumes, setting and even lighting are successfully used to comedic effect. Satan opens his front door to a roaring red glow, except when Jesus is around. Then it turns into a tranquil blue light.

As a whole, "Hell" is one of the most enjoyable things I've seen in a long time. Throughout the play, various characters observe that Hell is "not that bad." I'm inclined to disagree. It's not just "not that bad"-it's absolutely divine.

Issue 22, Submitted 2005-04-05 22:15:55