First-years, we're sorry: Valentine does not, like a fine wine, improve with age. In fact, you will probably notice that, much like your dorm room, it has worsened with every passing day since your parents' departure. Don't worry, though: Soon enough you'll plan your week around burrito/taco day and BBQ chicken day. We're kidding ... but Nick really does this.

But all is not lost. Believe it or not, Western Massachusetts, and especially the Pioneer Valley, is rife with opportunities for really good dining. It's not New York, where we both spent our summer, and it's not Paris, where Nick spent the spring semester-but Amherst, Northampton and the surrounding towns have some excellent restaurants, both on the high end (Del Raye Bar and Grill in Northampton) and, well, not (Antonio's down the street).

We've taken this space from the Flaming Chef, who is back at Vassar College, and while we don't want to replace him (could he ever be replaced?), we do think there's room in this newspaper for a column about dining out in the area, and we think we're the writers for the job (we're seniors, and it doesn't hurt that Sarah is the editor-in-chief, either). We promise that we won't review the places everyone knows about (Bueno y Sano, Fresh Side, etc.), and we also promise objectivity. Since The Student is too cheap to pay for our meals, we're going to blow all of our hard-earned summer cash for your benefit. And when our parents are in town, we're going to blow their cash, too.

Since we won't be reviewing most of the standbys in the area, we're going to give you a quick rundown of the places we like best in the Five-College area. We are not, most definitely, The New York Times, so we're not giving stars or anything as pedestrian as forks.

The best places to eat for cheap are Antonio's, Fresh Side and Bueno y Sano. Antonio's plain pizza is a waste of space, but in general the weirder the topping the more sublime the taste (just don't expect many of those weird toppings to be available at 1 a.m.). Chicken blue cheese is Sarah's top pick; chicken pineapple and steak burrito are Nick's. Sarah and Nick claim that they've never had a bad meal from Fresh Side and recommend the spicy and teriyaki chicken tea rolls. Get any burrito at Bueno and go home happy.

When your parents are in town, get thee to Northampton's Del Raye. It's as close as you can get to a big-city feel in this area, and the wine list is great. (Not that we've ordered a bottle over $30, but the list is dictionary-sized.) The menu, which bills itself as "new American," reads like a greatest hits list of that cuisine: truffle oil, locally grown greens, grilled Ahi tuna, molten chocolate cake.

Osaka, also in Northampton, is our favorite place for sushi (its stupendous sushi boat is a great date gimmick), but we also like Moshimoshi (Northampton), which is slightly less expensive and has a more casual atmosphere. (We're planning a more scientific sushi survey later this year.) For Indian food, head to Northampton and go to India House. And then order at least one bread basket.

In Noho, Green Street Cafe is the most romantic place to linger over a two-and-a-half hour dinner, but be forewarned that if you're considering it for Valentine's Day, start saving now. (Beginning to sense a theme?) Sarah hasn't gone on enough dates to weigh in, but she had a very romantic dinner at Circa in Northampton with her mother a while back. We'll say more about that in February.

This list can't be all cheers and no jeers, so we'll add that Judie's is overrated (except for the popovers), and Amherst Crepes isn't worth the slightly longer walk into town, especially come winter.

That's all we've got for now. We still haven't tried Chez Albert (the Flaming Chef gave it the thumbs up), and we'll be bemoaning the death of Nancy Jane's for at least a week before we can try the noodles place that's taken up residence there. Until next week, enjoy the cuisine at Valentine, and if your parents are in town, give us a call. We're definitely free.