Dear Diary,

I've been seeing several fliers around campus announcing the coming of "The Vagina Monologues." Like most fliers, they seem to have appeared overnight, like some exotic flower that blooms once a year. Bright red and fluorescent pink petals announcing the annual staging of the much loved show, but offering little more information than the date and time for the first meeting.

The name sounds familiar … but I could not tell with certainty what the monologues stand for … I asked a few vaginas over lunch today if they had ever heard of them. Most of them had, but where either unable or unwilling to provide a coherent description. I asked some of the guys; they didn't know or wouldn't say either.

Well, I'm free that day, so I'll go to the general interest meeting, and hopefully find out what it's all about. Plus, refreshments will be provided, so sure, why not?

Day 2

Dear Diary,

The meeting last night went well. We were a huge group, many more people than I expected, considering the size of our campus. And to think there used to be no vaginas here! There were a lot of first-year and sophomore vaginas. Not many juniors; I'm guessing most junior vaginas went abroad.

There were a few senior vaginas, most of which had been performing for the fourth year in a row. There were also (to my relief!) a lot of new "amateur" vaginas who didn't know much about what they were getting themselves into. As selfish as that may sound, it made me feel much better. Sometimes, it actually kind of nice, in a down-to-earth kind of way, to see that not everyone is as together as they seem on the outside.

Day 7

Dear Diary,

I've read over the script of the play, and now I have to decide which monologue I want to perform. Easier said than done. There's a few that I particularly like, but I do not know if they truly call out to me, or if I can really relate to them. I'm sure they are true, and that stuff like this happens, but much of it has not happened to me (this last statement can be both an object of despair or something to be grateful for. It really depends on the piece, I suppose).

Some of the other vaginas seem really involved and passionate about the whole production. I have yet to feel enthusiastic to that degree, and next to them, sometimes I feel like a poser. It's as though, because I haven't gone through what they have, I don't really know what I'm talking about when I say my part out loud. But this is just my first time, after all.

Day 12

Dear Diary,

Oh. My. God. There was a huge misunderstanding about the tabling schedule today. Apparently I was supposed to take the morning shift at the Campus Center and help sell tickets for the performance. At 10:55 a.m. I was woken up (I don't have class until 2 p.m. on Mondays and Wednesdays. I need my beauty sleep.) by a phone call from one of the other vaginas who had to go to class and was waiting for me to arrive so she could leave.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" I tell her, as I get dressed without paying any attention to what I'm putting on. I leave my dorm room in a hurry, hardly even looking at myself in the mirror, wondering how on earth this could have slipped my mind! What was I thinking?

Flustered and apologetic, I make tracks to the Campus Center. Once there, seeing the lists of names (some of which I had never even heard of) on the tabling schedule, I realize what went wrong.

"That's not what I go by!" I declare to the vagina, who was already late for class. No wonder I hadn't recognized my name on the signup sheet. Now that I think about it though, I vaguely remember that name being mentioned by one of the senior vaginas-the one from … where's she from? I can never remember-at the last meeting. And I think I've read it in a few emails. I didn't even know they were talking about me!

Day 14

Dear Diary,

I finally picked a monologue, and it's a perfect fit, like soft, new Fruit of the Loom. But for now, it's all about rehearsal, rehearsal, rehearsal, and a few other preparations that vaginas need before the big night.

Opening night is, after all, just around the corner! What should I wear?