Dude, where's my elephant?
By Ashley Arana, Staff Writer
Martial arts movies are the purest subcategory in the action movie genre. Compared to other action movies, they are as close as possible to 100 percent action while details such as plot, romantic struggles and character development are only afterthoughts. A successful martial arts movie relies heavily on the variety, quantity and execution of its fight scenes, with perhaps a little help from special effects.

More importantly, the hero must be unstoppable. "The Protector" is the perfect action movie because it does just this. The action is quick, and the hero fights his way through one challenge after the other without a single dull moment.

If, say, Nicholas Cage was starring in a movie with the slogan, "Vengeance knows no mercy," we would expect the worst because of the tedious, boring and often cheesy plot elements that must be added; however, if a martial arts movie has this same slogan, we should expect the best action packed movie of the year.

The movie begins with an explanation of the importance of the role of the "The Protector" in Thailand: He protects the elephants for the royalty. The first few minutes are very peaceful, with beautiful shots of elephants and the main character, Kham (Tony Jaa, pugilist extraordinaire last seen in "Ong Bak"), growing up in the undisturbed Thai countryside. However, the movie truly begins when Kham's two elephants are stolen and his father is shot; from this moment on, his anger carries him through a raging mission around Sydney filled with scene after scene of kick-ass martial arts.

The action scenes include speedboat chases, inspiring dreams of ancestors in battle and a classic warehouse fight scene. In my favorite scene, Kham turns a room full of expert kung fu artists into an orthopedic surgeon's worst nightmare. He defies gravity like characters from "The Matrix" and single-handedly wipes out, like flies, a posse on skateboards much in the same way as Beatrix Kiddo fights the Crazy 88 in "Kill Bill: Vol. 1."

When I was watching the movie, I kept searching for hints of Quentin Tarantino's stylistic influence. In recent ads and at the beginning of the film, the line "Quentin Tarantino presents" seems to suggest that he thought highly of the film; however, there's little to suggest why. It certainly had none of the violent characteristics of Tarantino works: Blood hardly spewed onto the screen like in "Kill Bill" and there were no disgusting scenes on the level of "Pulp Fiction." All of the action was executed with clean blows and kicks, breaking bones and knocking people off their feet.

Moreover, the loudest laughs were elicited by the flashy kung fu moves and the absurdity of some of the situations. At some points the film seemed somewhat silly and childish. One girl sitting behind me even said, "This is stupid," when one of the officers in the movie falls into cliché upon encountering a slowpoke: "My grandmother drives faster than you." Most people found humor in the action, but the funniest parts to me were when Kham screams things like, "Where the hell is my elephant?" or "You killed my father and stole my elephants!"

However, the best part of any martial arts movie, and this one in particular, is that the action never stops. That's why, even though audiences looking for Tarantino effects will be disappointed that he essentially had nothing to do with the movie, they will be nevertheless impressed by the fight choreography.

Aside from the ongoing action, the villains were the best part of the movie; they were presented like opponents in a video game. After defeating the 20 fighters dressed in black, a giant wrestler would enter for round two. In addition to the bouncer/wrestler, Kham had to defeat a man who fought like a jazz dancer in "Bring in da Noise, Bring in da Funk," and the new female executive of a major corporation who is armed with a whip. There were no lovable enemies or even people on the fringe, they were all just completely evil and one-dimensional.

In catering to the latest generation of martial arts enthusiasts, "The Protector" pulls out all the stops when it comes to high-flying kicks and punches, leaving the staples of plot and character development by the wayside.

Issue 02, Submitted 2006-09-27 23:01:08