The rivalry between Amherst, Smith and Mt. Holyoke girls probably started in 1975, when Amherst admitted its first female students. The dating scene-or, at least, the hookup scene-clearly favors the men in the Five College system, with two all-female schools that boast bigger student populations than both Hampshire and Amherst. There is an almost tangible resentment between Smith, Mt. Holyoke and Amherst girls. Too often it feels like the female populations at three different schools are fighting over the same small population of men.
But I think it goes deeper than that. The resentment isn't just fueled by the fact that Amherst women think the only reason Smith and Mt. Holyoke women are on this campus is to meet-and, to some girls, steal-Amherst men. It's so many other things at the same time-frustration with the Five College dating scene, frustration with not being able to find a significant other and frustration with finding a private party suddenly flooded with people you've never seen before.
At such a small college, we're so used to recognizing nearly every face we see in the dining hall, on campus and on the weekends. Non-Amherst students usually stick out like sore thumbs, either because of the way they dress, because of who they're with or simply because you've never seen them before.
Finding a roomful of people I've never seen before can be ridiculously overwhelming, especially when all I wanted to do was be with my friends. There's a sense of possessiveness over everything Amherst-related, and we resent Smith or Mt. Holyoke girls for being seemingly responsible for making our parties too hot and crowded, drinking our alcohol and taking our boys. I've overheard so many Amherst girls say, "They chose to go to an all-girl school. Why can't they stay there?"
And yet, if we had chosen to go to Smith or Mt. Holyoke, wouldn't we be doing the same thing every weekend? Can we really blame them for wanting to get off their campus and trying to find parties with a more equal ratio of men to women? Should we instead be learning from their example-actually traveling off-campus to explore what the Five Colleges have to offer rather than staying in our own comfortable little bubble with everyone we know?
But this conversation about the tensions between the Five College women also leads to another one-the dynamic between Amherst men and women. I've heard so many women complain that Amherst men are never interested in relationships or dating, and that the only reason why Amherst men go for Smith and Mt. Holyoke girls is because those girls are so willing for any male interaction. Amherst women seem too often to be on the defensive when it comes to men.
Ever since Orientation, we've been hearing that saying that everyone repeats-from the frat guys that live next door, to the nerd in our chemistry class, even professors: "Mohos you bed, Smith girls you wed and Amherst girls you talk to." The Amherst boys I've talked to say that Amherst girls always seem too uptight, too frigid, too hard to approach.
I think there's some kernel of truth to that-Smith and Mt. Holyoke women, finding themselves on a completely unfamiliar campus, have nothing to lose by befriending everyone that comes their way, whereas Amherst girls have no problem blowing off a guy they find unattractive, or a guy with a certain reputation on campus.
And admit it-we have a superiority complex. We scorn Smith and Mt. Holyoke girls for being easy or trying too hard, and we pat ourselves on the back for being smarter and not being desperate enough to hook up with that really awkward guy from our biopsych class. But are we really that different? We mock them, but aren't we all just looking for the same thing? Aren't we all victims of the same stereotypes?
The mentality of the whole campus towards dating and relationships also exacerbates these tensions. It's not a competition. It's not about instant gratification. And if you stop complaining and look around, maybe you'll find someone who's genuinely interesting-and who's genuinely interested in you. But until then, maybe we should lay off on the Smith and Mt. Holyoke girls. After all, they're only looking for a good time-just like we are.