Eating Out
By Leigh Rivlin, Columnist
When I worked at Bertucci's as a hostess, I was sociable, polite, accommodating and honest. That was my job. And that's what we usually expect when we walk into a restaurant, right? Hosts and hostesses are the first people a guest encounters; they set the tone for the guest's experience and make the restaurant's first impression, which we all know you never get a second chance to make. Apparently the hostesses at Tavern on the Hill in Easthampton were never given this imperative information, or they just chose to ignore it. Thankfully for the restaurant's owners and diners alike, the food for the most part, and the scenery, compensate for the rudeness and imperialism cooked up by the hostesses.

We had 6 p.m. reservations which I had made a week earlier. Due to changes in family plans (it being Family Weekend) and the length of the a capella show, we called and let the restaurant know our party was going to be four strong instead of 11 and that we would be 15-20 minutes late. I guess the reservation and our calling that day didn't convey the idea that we were coming since our table and our entire reservation was erased at 6:15 p.m. Apparently, Tavern on the Hill has a policy, of which they fail to inform their guests when they make reservations or call to change these reservations, that says that if a guest does not arrive within 15 minutes of their reservation their table is given away. Well, too bad: We arrived 23 minutes late, as our hostess informed us.

Ok, we got past the fact that they gave away our table, but were we automatically put on the waiting list since they knew we were coming anyway? Nope. When I asked how long the wait would be, I was told 45 minutes. Since we were really excited about the restaurant, we agreed to wait. Forty-five minutes later, having reached the point of serious hunger, we were told to wait 20 more minutes. Fine. "Can we put our orders in so that the food is ready when we get to our table?" Rhea asked the hostess. "You can't order from the hallway," she responded with a blatant tone of superiority.

After an hour and a half of waiting-double our quoted time-we were told that our table was ready. We were not walked to our table; instead, the hostess walked off ahead of us, not looking back to see if we were following nor pulling out our chairs, and simply put the menus on the table. A couple was placed at the open table next to ours moments later, and shortly after that, they were brought a plate of appetizers. Can't order from the hallway, eh?

The meal finally began. I had already acquired a stomachache from the wait, but it was slightly relieved by the basket of warm, wheat bread that came our way, albeit 10 minutes after the couple received theirs The bread was delicious, however. Prior to our entrées came our house salads. Very small, very plain salads of a slice or two of red pepper, a slice or two of cucumber, a couple cherry tomatoes and some lettuce tossed with our choice of ranch, French, raspberry vinaigrette and balsamic vinaigrette dressings.

I ordered the Macadamia and Pistachio Crusted Mahi Mahi off the night's specials menu ($19.95). The fish comes with your choice of mashed potatoes (garlic, rosemary, roasted garlic or mustard) and grilled asparagus. I chose the garlic mashed potatoes, which were room temperature and very dry. The asparagus was very good. The fish was a bit dry, but fine. I was a big fan of the teriyaki glaze that was drizzled over the dish, dipping both the fish and the asparagus in it. I could barely detect the mango curry vinaigrette in the dish. The presentation was excellent.

Nina ordered Pork Chops and Applesauce ($15.95) with mustard mashed potatoes and grilled asparagus. The mustard mashed potatoes lacked mustard flavor, and tasted like plain old mashed potatoes, which is fine, but not what Nina ordered. The fennel and black pepper crust of the pork chops disagreed with my palate because I do not like the taste of licorice, but Nina loved it. The applesauce was incredible. It had a darker color than the canned or bottled applesauce we're used to. The delicious pork dipped in the applesauce was a fabulous dinner.

Rhea ordered the Baked Stuffed Artichoke ($6.95). I love artichokes, and this was the best way I've ever had them cooked. The artichoke is stuffed with bread crumbs and parmesan cheese with a white wine and balsamic reduction. In other words, it's delicious. My mom ordered the Pepper-Crusted Duck with Sweet Potato Ravioli ($19.95). This was my favorite dish of the night. The duck was perfect. The sweet potato ravioli was creative, comforting and savory: If ravioli could melt in your mouth, this one would. My mom refused to come out that night to Halloween in Mayo, so I thought about telling her that I wouldn't give her back her plate unless she came. She's stubborn, like her daughter, so she didn't come. And she demanded her plate back. Dammit.

For dessert, we all shared the Pecan and Sweet Potato Cheesecake with Caramel ($4.50). It was one of the best desserts I've ever had, and perfect for the season. It tasted just like fall; if you could cook fall down and mold it into a cheesecake. It was accompanied by a dollop of whipped cream and topped with pecans. Inside the cheesecake I found whole chunks of sweet potato. I'd drive back out Easthampton just for a piece of that cheesecake.

By the end of the night, the food had compensated for the hunger pains and the frustration at the hostesses. Our meal had enough solid dishes for us to have called it a good meal and we would return to the restaurant in the future. And the view of the valley from the restaurant, which is perched on the side of Mt. Tom, is unbeatable. I'd recommend the restaurant if you're willing to drive 20 minutes to get there (about as long as it takes to get to The Night Kitchen in Montague). However, be prepared to deal with snotty hostesses and some dishes that may not "wow" you at all, alongside dishes that are guaranteed to do so.

Leigh promises to never be rude or imperialistic when recommending food. You can write her at lfrivlin@amherst.edu.

Issue 09, Submitted 2006-11-08 03:47:57