I'm not competitive with her in the slightest. I bet she'd also say we aren't competitive, but that's just because I scored 20 points higher than her on the SATs and because I destroy her at shuffleboard and because she got the ugly genes. It makes sense if you don't think about it.
Would you rather wear polka dot, plaid or argyle?
That's tough. Polka dots accentuate my fearsome triceps, but argyle lifts my butt and distracts from the whole webbed-feet thing. I think I saw Rob Brown wearing argyle once, so I guess I'll have to go argyle.
You have a stuffed dolphin named Dolphy. How did you obtain Dolphy? Does your girlfriend get jealous when you cuddle with Dolphy?
Dolphy was a gift from my mommy when I was five years old. And my girlfriend broke up with me, thanks for asking.
If you were a superhero, what would your weakness be?
I'd be myopic. I really like the word myopic.
What is your favorite type font?
This is a joke stolen directly from my play, and I will have both The Amherst Student and Donatello Galeonardo sued.
You won the Room Draw Lip-Synch contest last year. How did your first-pick room work out?
Our rooms are fabulous. Living in Hitchcock is like living in a luxury hotel suite, except that instead of a maid making your bed every morning there's a drunken freshman throwing a garbage can onto your car from the third-floor bathroom window.
From where does your sense of humor come?
Painfully exact grammar.
You wrote a play for your senior thesis, "The Silent Caller," and it is showing this coming Thursday, Feb. 22, through Saturday, Feb. 24. What was the process of writing the play like? Was it difficult to be receptive to suggestions?
The process has been pretty grueling. Theater is deceptively different from literature or film, and I often find that ideas that seem really sweet on paper are unworkable or simply awkward onstage. I think I have been pretty good about being open to suggestions. Because this is my first time playwriting, I tend to cry like a girl when things go wrong and then I scurry off to rewrite everything. I still wish I had changed the title before it was too late. I wanted to call it La Will-Play, but the theater department didn't really go for that.
From where do you get your ideas in your play? How much of the play is based on your own experiences?
I actually went around to my friends and family and asked them to each give me a line that they wanted incorporated into the play. My twin sister made me promise to put her name in it. One of my mom's friends really wanted me to incorporate the word "buckshot" for some odd reason. That one was hard, but I finally managed to sneak it in there. Most of the best lines in the play were given to me by someone else, now that I think about it. Please don't tell my advisor.
If you could play one of your characters, which would you choose and why?
Rob Brown. No explanation necessary.
Why should people come and see your play?
Because Scott Ganz is in it.
What is your favorite food at Val?
Bulgogi. Obviously bulgogi.
You went abroad to France last year. What was the best French food you were able to try?
Is bulgogi French?
Was there anything that surprised you when you visited France?
Contrary to popular belief, Parisians tend to shower quite regularly, and they use soap at least half the time. Also, Parisians are only rude to you if they suspect that you are American, British, Belgian, Dutch (they really hate the Dutch) or from some other region of France. If they think you're Canadian then they're perfectly pleasant.