I walked over to the 'Dorf to talk with Bay. His friends were playing videogames, and his girlfriend Kate was dom'ing at Halo. She can strafe like no other. Anyway, so I asked Bay if I could talk with him about "boy issues." We walked out into the empty common room, and I explained quickly, "There's this guy. He gave me his number the other day. He's cute, but … he's not in my league. I don't know what to do."

"Nah, there are no such things as leagues anymore. This isn't high school," said Bay. I shook my head. "Besides, you are attractive, even though you don't think so. This 'guy gives you a number' thing is going to happen again. Here's my advice: Don't act desperate. Don't call him back for a couple of days. Really."

"Bay, that's not the problem. I don't want to call him. I think that when he gave me his number, he made a mistake." Bay laughed and told me to shut up and stop worrying, just don't call the guy. I sighed and accepted a hug. We walked back to find some guys shouting in dismay as Kate powned their asses.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Okay, so yesterday I found Allison in the room right outside the drink dispensers. She was sitting with some of her junior friends. I cut my meatballs into halves, quarters, eighths while taking bites of garlic bread. We all talked about our respective states (Wisconsin, California, New Jersey) when I saw Chad walking towards us from the fro-yo machines. He looked right at me and smiled. I was doomed-he was going to sit with us. Everyone was introduced and he fit right in. I sat and listened while growing less and less hungry from nervousness. (I just can't eat in front of a guy I like.) Alli's friends excused themselves and walked off to the conveyer belt. My plate was still half-full (yes, half-full), and I waited for Alli to finish. She walked back in to get some tea for the road (dammit, Al, why did you leave us alone?!), and I stood up with Chad. I tried to make my escape; see you around, Chad, but he said one awful word: "Wait."

He asked straight out why I hadn't called. I told him I didn't think he'd expected a call. "Look, don't toy with me just because you talked with your girlfriends and that's what they told you to do. To hell with games. I like you. I think you're hot. (May I just say that, while I didn't expect anything romantic, it still annoys me when a guy calls a girl "hot" instead of "beautiful" or "pretty.") Whatever. If you want to hang out, give me a call." He bit into his fourth piece of garlic bread, and then he grinned. His eyes were like Gatsby's lights. "Hopefully I'll see you around." Sure, see you. I raced off, and the only thought in my head was, "That was mad awkward." Maybe I'm too self-conscious. Nix the maybe.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

There was a party in Marsh last night, pirates vs. ninjas theme. I hate that walk up the hill-I know, I know, I'm already spoiled from living in Morris Pratt, but it's a creepy and long hike to the three mansions. Anyway. You know the drill; there was the rap music blaring on sub-woofers, groups of people swaying in alcohol-induced dances, people taking off articles of clothing (just enough to be scandalous, not enough to be indecent) and I … well, I tried to mingle and failed miserably. At one point during "Lip Gloss" (oh so catchy but slightly infantile) I saw Chad chatting up a girl with an eye patch and a miniskirt. Le sigh. After an hour of getting it right (and getting it tight, of course), the party died down. I started to walk back, and I heard the pounding footsteps of a person running. I turned around; it was Chad. "Wait up, Jen!" He caught up to me.

What does a nerdy little girl do when a guy who gave her his number walks with her all the way back to her dorm from the Hill?

We talked about each others' lives. He's a 22-year-old hockey player originally from Minnesota. I'm a 19-year-old self-conscious Jersey girl. He talks calmly and slowly, maybe because of his recent concussion and the long-term effects of alcohol abuse. I talk quickly and nervously-that is, when I talk at all.

He walked me over to the door and let me into Pratt (the real Pratt). He led me down to the basement, to the laundry room. I've never really done anything exciting before-and I did not protest when he lifted me up and set me on top of a dryer. He nibbled on my ear while I squirmed as his massive arms pinned me. I could feel his six-pack through our shirts, and I sucked in my stomach so it wouldn't be obvious that Val's buffet-style dining didn't exactly give me a slim figure. Between licks, he murmured in my ear that I was hot (and yes, I was warm, I was sitting on top of a working dryer), that he wanted me. I felt my face burning red for the second time that night (and this time, it wasn't due to Asian glow) and I opened my mouth to express discomfort. At that moment, he tried to French-kiss me. I kept my lips closed and moved his hands away when they slipped under my pirate outfit. He abruptly left off kissing and used his glow-in-the-dark green eyes to strip me of any defenses. "Jen? Is something wrong?" I just grinned sheepishly. "Look, Jen, if you don't want to fool around, that's fine. Just let me know."

I was reassured by the idea that he would stop at any point if I wanted to, so I kissed him. He started to grope me. Now, I'm no hopeless romantic. I know that at Amherst it would be difficult to find a Prince Charming who wants to "make love" and engage sweetly in foreplay, but this Gaston was manhandling my boobs. It hurt, and finally I moved his hands away. "Chad, I … I think that's enough for tonight." He shrugged. "Fine, that's okay." He opened up the dryer door, pulled out a shirt, and laughed. "I know it's stealing, but you should wear this." It was purple with the word "Awkward" in blaring white letters. I pulled it on. It fit perfectly, in so many ways. He smiled. "I'll see you later."

After he had left, I took off the shirt, folded it carefully and placed it back in the dryer. As I made my way upstairs, I tried to recall how I had gotten to this point in the first place. Back in my room, I found that Debs wasn't there. I was relieved but also a little disappointed. Sometimes it's nice having someone you can talk to about crazy shit that's just happened.