The Personals; Questions for Ryan Shields '07
By Audrey Kim, Staff Writer
When you were a kid, what was your favorite outfit to wear?

Ill-fitting jeans, t-shirt and a hoodie with a good zipper. Or my Winnie-the-Pooh Halloween costume.

Do you have any siblings? If so, are they as awesome as you are?

I have one younger sister, Lauren (a.k.a. Loshi). I would venture to say that as she goes to MIT, is in an all-Asian sorority, founded her own a cappella group and plays copious amounts of Guitar Hero, she is MUCH cooler than I.

Give an example of "badass."

Jennifer Lewkowitz with a dash of Travis Doering.

If your sense of humor was a fruit, what fruit would it be and why? Would you eat that fruit?

I would say my sense of humor most resembles apples: They come in many varieties (some biting, some sweet), can be baked into a pie and go well with cheese. But I wouldn't eat my sense of humor; I am allergic to apples.

Where did you live during your first year? Do you have any amusing anecdotes about your first year?

Fourth floor South! Best moment: Throwing rotten pumpkins from my window into the dumpster next to Johnson Chapel after Halloween. Best moments: "Thriller" Time. Every night. 11:55 p.m. Five minutes before quiet hours, we would blast "Thriller" from my speakers and everyone would come out into the hallway and attempt to dance like Michael Jackson.

What was your favorite children's song or lullaby when you were younger?

"Bananaphone" by Raffi. If you don't agree, you hate happiness.

What is your favorite YouTube video?

Otters holding hands. If you don't agree, you hate happiness again.

What is your most sexually attractive body part?

Right now, probably my sick flow. I do appreciate a good coiffure.

Where did you study abroad?

I studied at Université Cheikh Anta Diop in Dakar, Senegal. I lived with a wonderful Cape Verdian family in a neighborhood in downtown Dakar. My school was just a 30-minute walk away through sandy, urine-smelling, cow-infested streets. Favorite part? Probably the stomach parasite. Underclassmen should absolutely go abroad-then you too can get schistosomiasis!

Do you have a middle name? If so, what is it?

Yoshimura by birth, Slightlyawkward by choice.

You are writing a thesis in the biology department. What is your thesis topic?

I am studying temperature-sensitive death during embryogenesis in C. elegans due to a mutation in the sao-1 gene. Sad times. I am studying a newly discovered gene in nematode worms that, when mutated, cause the embryos to die when they are hot. The worms are adorable and current favorites are Penelope, Patrick and Patricia. I am into P-names at the moment.

What do you miss most about Michigan?

Nice people.

What was/is your favorite children's television show?

"Laguna Beach."

If you were a movie, what movie would you be?

"Drumline." Not only did I win second place in last year's Nick Cannon look-alike contest in Ware, Mass., but I also drop mad beats on my stomach when requested.

What is your favorite part about fall in Amherst?

All first-years should hike the Notch right at the peak of the changing colors. It has an absolutely beautiful view over the Pioneer Valley. Also, take a crap in the woods.

Choose one: polka dot, argyle or plaid.

Argyle. It most effectively expresses my love for diamonds and the scene.

What is the best concert you have ever attended?

Definitely Daniel Guariglia dancing in a towel to Darude's "Sandstorm."

Tell me about some of your hobbies.

Illusions, delivering singing telegrams, solo dance parties, breaking hearts.

Issue 05, Submitted 2007-10-17 22:09:22