What is the origin of your name?

Actually it is sort of a weird story. Originally my Dad and brother wanted to name me Marvin. But because my mom wanted to make sure I didn’t get my ass kicked everyday, she named me Gregorio after my opium-growing Honduran great-grandfather. And I’m pretty sure Gregorio is Latin for goat-herder. My last name, Coello, comes from my Dad’s ancient Mayan roots. The Coellos were glass-blowing artisans under Kuathalan Maccapuhl IV.

What was the craziest/most ambitious/most outlandish thing you wanted to do for a living when you were a child? What do you want to do now?

I’d always wanted to be a steam engine as a child, but apparently they don’t have colleges for that. Elitist snobs. Also, I’ve always wanted to be a competitive food eater. Growing up, I’ve always prided myself on my appetite and my love of food. And what better living than to eat? Currently, though, I’d like to either be an assistant clerk for a lower-level judicial court or a Spanish game show host. With an Amherst degree, anything is possible.

You were involved with the Mental Health Project this past Interterm. What was that experience like and how did you get involved with that particular organization?

I absolutely loved working with the Mental Health Project, which is an organization that provides legal aid to lower-income residents who have psychiatric illnesses. While there, I felt like I was never given meaningless secretarial tasks. Instead, the workers there (mostly lawyers) took me on a lot of field work in places like half-way houses and courthouses so that I could really appreciate the crux of their work. Also, my boss, Bill Lienhard, was particularly great. He took every effort to make the experience meaningful and actually convinced me to explore social work as a possible career.

What has been the best class you’ve taken while attending Amherst?

In freshman year I took Doing the Right Thing, a philosophy class with Jill Wexler. She’s awesome. In addition to being a captivating lecturer, she gives incredibly detailed feedback on every paper. If you take a class with her, your writing will improve.

You have a jacket printed with photographs of Japanese pornography on it. Explain?

Ahh the jacket. Well, it’s one of a kind actually. While walking in Boston one day, I saw my baby in the window of a specialty store named AWOL and it was love at first sight. I mean, this girl had my two favorite things in the world on her: Japan and … well you know. Plus she looked like an animated rainbow when I walked around with her in the store. Hesitant to buy it for the listed price, I haggled with the store clerk, eventually convincing him to give it up for 60 bills instead of 120. It has since become my baby, my everythang.

Who is your favorite presidential candidate and why?

Obama. I like him because everyone around me tells me to.

You were infamous for your long hair —what prompted the haircut?

You know, I’ve been getting a lot of comments about my hair. The truth is I just wanted a new style. It wasn’t a sacrifice at all actually. It was more like as if my hair had turned 18 and was finally ready to leave the house. Unfortunately my hair decided to stay an extra three years so I had to actively kick him out. It sort of sucks though because people keep coming up to me and saying things like “it’s about damn time” or “thank God” or “wow, you look sooooo much better than before.” Goddamn it. As for the hair, I originally planned to donate it to Locks of Love, but I’ve since been dissuaded by my friend Alex Pacheco who told me that I could probably get $100 somewhere for the 11 inches of hair cut off.

In the movie of your life, who would you have play you?

In the movie of my life, I would definitely say Demi Moore would play me best. She’d make an intense “G.I. Greg.” But coming in for a close second would definitely be Antonio Banderas. I feel that he’s probably the only person suave enough to capture that Latin passion of mine.

Beantown. Tell us about what it means to you.

Beantown! Oh God, I could tell you stories! Should I start with harmonica-T, or Winkles, the homeless ex-pornstar that dances for change in Harvard Square? Beantown is great. In the brochures, advertisers make it seem as if Boston is just some lonely, small, East coast city that’s loaded with “culture,” “history” and “clam chowder.” Likewise you’ll hear people constantly complain that it is “nothing like New York.” But the best thing about Boston is that it’s not New York. Boston is so great because it is small, and thus you feel as if your importance to the city is not diminished: you can actually have a status there rather than be ignored in the crowded streets. Plus, though the Boston accent sort of sounds like a live sheep in a meat grinder, it grows on you after a while. Jeter’s mom goes to Williams! A-rod is an A-hole! GOOOO RED SARXXX!

What are you not doing, but should be doing, while you answer these questions?

I actually qualified to enter a buffalo shrimp eating competition in Northampton. So right now I should probably be expanding my stomach to prep for the competition. I am not lying about this. Seriously.