The chef/customer relationship is as sacred as the bonds of holy matrimony. And like any marriage, it is currently feeling the strains of this harsh economic climate. It seems like as their 401Ks dwindle, chefs are putting less and less care into their once slaved-over offerings. Though they say that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, that road has all but weeded over in these harsh times. So I ask you, eaters and cookers alike, where is the love?

Even Taco Bell employees, former guardians of greatness, have fallen victim to the demotivational pressures of pay check reduction. As of late, Crunchwraps have been anything but Supreme, their vast array of ingredients thrown together with a precision that calls to mind images of an orthodontist with a sledgehammer. The Crunchwrap is nothing without synergy, and the necessary fusions will never come about if it is not carefully constructed. I know it must be hard to put in this level of effort day in and day out, but that’s what the food service industry demands. . . or should demand.

Taco Bell and their waning wares are not the only ones who have lost favor with the Food Dude. D.P. Dough too has dropped several notches on the love-o-meter, and their food is suffering for it. Like the Crunchwrap, their calzones have become haphazard concoctions lacking even a semblance of care. Either they have taken to stuffing their ‘zones via shotgun, or they just don’t give a good goddamn anymore. I used to happily pay their premium prices, but if they won’t show me the love I deserve then I can just as well take my business to Pinnochio’s. At least they never even pretended to love me in the first place, and their calzones are a helluva lot bigger.

The panini princes of Andiamo have also fallen from grace, leaving their sandwiches as mere shadows of their former selves. Last week I ordered my perennial favorite, the Venice, and was mortified to find that the prosciutto was somehow still a little bit frozen in the middle! As if that wasn’t bad enough, the chefs had chosen to garnish this frosty faux-pas with a measly three pieces of basil. THREE ... for a foot long panini! Oh how the mighty hath fallen. What was once a delicious monument to culinary achievement had been reduced to an inedible, partially frozen lump.

So I implore you, chefs of the world, take heart in these tough times. But more importantly, take time...time to spread the ingredients around a little bit. Because now more than ever we need our meals to feel like the warm, savory hugs that they can be. We’re right here with open arms and open wallets just waiting to be loved, but no one seems willing to put in the effort.