Pizza has been the staple food of college life since our parents were shiftless young adults themselves. But in truth, the ultimate collegiate cuisine is not pizza, but leftover pizza. All too often do students roll over at 2:30 on a Sunday afternoon, realize that they have missed Valentine’s oh-so convenient lunch hours, and dine instead on the remaining pizza from last night’s debauchery. Though anything even remotely edible would taste like saffron-glazed truffles when you’re hung”ry”-over, why gorge yourself on second-rate scraps? The Food Dude has woken up next to nearly every kind of pizza you could imagine and sifted through them all to find the ultimate morning-after pizza.

But before we get to the good stuff, let us talk first of the pizzas that are mistakes to microwave. La Piazza, though hearty, delicious and cheap, turns to complete crap after even nominal nuking. Their pizza is just too thick and cheesy to survive the night, and this density makes even-cooking an utter impossibility. I have tried every method in the book: from slicing to propping to constant repositioning, but nothing can get the center of a la Piazza slice above freezing while leaving the edges intact.

Also demolished by a trip to the microwave are the otherwise splendiferous offerings of Antonio’s. Some slices survive better than others, but the chicken bacon ranch is by far the worst. Day-old, re-microwaved bacon is just disgusting, and the ranch sauce doesn’t fare much better. Though these slices are truly wondrous when fresh from the oven, fresh from the microwave they leave you wondering how something could possibly fall so far from grace. If you have to re-heat Antonio’s, I suggest sticking with a tortellini-based slice, as the cheesy pasta pockets take on an interesting new texture after a minute in the microwave.

Sibie’s, on the other hand, reheats marvelously, surviving both refrigeration and irradiation because of its simplicity. Sibie’s pies are based on an age-old formula: combine tasty crust, tasty sauce and tasty cheese, bake, and eat. Because each ingredient is so scrumptious in it’s own right, Sibie’s pies are still just as delicious the next day. Though, like all pizza, these flavorful pies lose their tantalizing texture after some time in the microwave, this isn’t a big deal for Sibie’s since the real enjoyment comes from the taste.

But if you really want some flavor from your post-fiesta fare, Bertucci’s is the only option. Somehow, their pizza maintains its wood-fired flare even after a minute and a half in a microwave that makes the whole room smell like Easy Mac. Even more miraculously, its texture manages to persist through the nuking process. Of course, Bertucci’s is the most expensive pizza in the area by a wide margin, but since their leftovers are comparable to the initial offerings of the other dough-boys, it’s hard to argue.

Overall, I’d recommend Antonio’s immediate dining, but be forewarned that sunrise does some strange things to a slice of chicken bacon ranch. Expensive Bertucci’s pies seem immune to father time, but if money is an object, then Sibie’s is your best bet for cheap and tasty pizza with a deliciousness that will satisfy you at night and not run away in the morning.