At Amherst, bromances have become increasingly prominent and are now considered more of a social norm than just a peculiar form of friendship taking place behind closed doors. You may even see some bromantic activities taking place on campus. Dudes are getting more secure in showing off their sexuality, and the idea of nonsexual attraction between guys has even become fashionable. “Intimacy, understanding, and admiration in male friendships are no longer cultural taboos,” alleged Matthew Gilbert in The Boston Globe.
Prominent Amherst males such as Sean Legister ’11 and Andre Gary ’11 are open and proud of their bromance. Both have girlfriends but make it clear that their bromance comes first. “My girlfriend gets a little upset sometimes. She will say to me, ‘I don’t wanna take you away from Dre,’” Legister said. He adds that there is a certain security in a bromance that is not found in a sexual relationship. “I can play FIFA to all hours of the night with Dre. And I know if I’m not with him and it’s late at night, I don’t need to worry because I know he’s comin’ home to me.”
While security is a huge part of a bromance, the relationship between Glenn Wong ’09 and Marcus Bradley ’09 seems not to be mutual adoration, but rather a source of strength and self-worth. As Wong described, “Really, the only positive thing about our relationship is he is the shorter, uglier version of me. So relative to him, I look even better when I go out.” But he also needs Marcus for more than the preservation of his own image and the building of his self-esteem. When asked why he chose to develop a bromance, despite the fact that there are plenty of single females on campus, he stated, “Marcus is always there to give me an honest evaluation about whether or not my body is ‘bar and beach ready.’” In Bradley’s opinion, “G-Wong and I are like Ashton Kutcher and P Diddy. And you may find this surprising ... but I’m Kutcher and he’s Diddy.”
After digging deeper into the peccadilloes of their relationship, however, it became clear that Wong is also caring and supportive of his diminutive bro. When asked about the difficulty of maintaining a healthy bromance in comparison to a sexual relationship, he added, “I would say that it is much more difficult to sustain the bromance, at least for me and Marcus. I spend countless hours making sure he eats at least three meals per day, goes to at least one class per week, gets his blackout pill subscription refilled, and doesn’t give out ‘ya boy’ cards to girls with huge boyfriends. It is a lot of work, but no one said it would be easy.” Clearly Wong indeed cares deeply about the well-being and safety of his bro.
Bradley stressed the importance of a bromance in building mental and physical toughness during the college years that will last for a lifetime. “If you get drunk and throw up on yourself, females often feel compassion for your state. They’re nurturing and sweet by nature, and they may do things like bring you water and tuck you into bed. This soft behavior is never found in a bromance,” Bradley explained. “If you get drunk and throw up on yourself, your bromance partner will likely make fun of you, draw on you with a sharpie, and/or beat the shit out of you. This may ‘hurt’ emotionally and physically at the time, but in the end it will make you stronger.”
Alex Widen ’09 and Patroba Michieka ’09 have been bromantic for the past four years. They have forged a strong and everlasting bond since their days together in Waldorf as first years. Widen described his bromance with Michieka as an outlet from his relationship with his girlfriend. “When I get mad at Patroba, or life gets us down, we can physically abuse each other when we get into a fight. With my girlfriend, I can’t do that.”
The beauty of a bromance is in its stark contrast to the heterosexual relationships in which these men are often involved. With your bro you can be yourself. “You can sit on the couch, in your underwear, play FIFA and just not feel vulnerable with your bro by your side,” described Sean Patterson ’10 in reference to his bromance with Andrew Stevenson ’10.
While some may scoff at the idea of bromances, it is clear that these companionships run much deeper than what is visible on the surface. One thing is for sure — bromances are flourishing and are here to stay at the College. Because these manly men are so open and secure about their bromantic activities, other younger Amherst students are sure to follow suit. Just remember, the next time your bro gives you that old-fashioned look that can only mean, “I love you, but no homo,” it’s bromance and man-love. Embrace it.