I'm not quite the Don Juan with ladies because I have a lot of trouble flirting. Whenever I see a girl I like, I'm either speechless or rambling-neither of which wins the heart of the object of my affection. What can I do to save my nonexistent sex life and become the ladies' man that I know I am at heart?

-Asexual in Appleton

Dear Asexual,

Freshmen are often deluded by the common myth that college is a breeding ground for debauchery and fornication. That is far from the case. During my presidency, Amherst College was an upstanding, moral school that encouraged students to experiment with their minds, not their bodies.

However, the addition of women has complicated the social scene for gentlemen such as yourself. If you are taken by a particular lady, I suggest you first befriend her. Without the pressure of romance, it will be easier for you to overcome your hesitations and allow your inner romantic to emerge.