I smoke all the time. I love pot. Instead of going to my classes, I go behind the physical plant to smoke up and then sit outside or in my room. I don't do any work. I'm scared I'm going to fail out. My professors send me emails wondering where I am, and I respond promising to attend the next class. But then I don't. What do I do?

-Baked in B-Dorm

Dear Baked,

Am I correct in assuming that when you refer to "pot" you are talking about marijuana? You might be experiencing academic difficulties because you are trying to smoke a rope. Although I have heard some rumors about opium usage among the students of my day, I find myself quite dismayed and disappointed that drugs have become so popular on campus. I, like the current President Tom Gerety, encourage students to experiment, but please remember that you are at Amherst College to study and not just to indulge your physical senses.

Doc Tyler