I made a horrible mistake. You see, I have this friend who was trying to work some chick. I hooked up with the girl he was macking on, not knowing she was "the" girl. It was a lot of fun until the next morning, when I woke up and told my friend that I had hooked up with the girl. Oh yeah, and I was tanked when it happened. What should I do?

-Devious in Davis

Dear Devious,

We all make mistakes, especially when our judgement is impaired by alcohol. However, we must always remember to look out for the well-being of our friendships, avoiding any romantic relationships which might undermine them. This reminds me of two Amherst students under my administration who, cast under the emotional voodoo of a shared love interest, shot each other in a duel. Don't let that happen to you, Devious. As all of those rapping gents are saying, bros before hos.