One of my favorite television shows from the mid '90s was "The Critic." What attracted me to it was the show's main character, Jay Sherman. I identified with Sherman because we had similar tastes in movies-we tend to think every film stinks. Imagine my joy when I discovered on the Internet a film review site that told it like it is. With ratings ranging from "Proof that Jesus died in vain," to "Almost tolerable," Mr. Cranky is sure to inform and entertain the cynical critic at heart.

One of this year's most acclaimed films was "A Beautiful Mind." But despite the film's eight Academy Award nominations, Mr. Cranky hated it. He cries, "Where the hell did Jennifer Connelly's breasts go ... her lovely, full-sized breasts have all but disappeared. This is an outrage!" He also takes fairer shots at the film, attacking its historical accuracy. According to Mr. Cranky, "Nash had a relationship with another woman (Howard portrays Alicia as the first and only), an illegitimate child and was caught in an FBI sting meant to trap homosexuals (in fact, Nash supposedly experimented with men, giving new meaning to the term 'long division')."