"It has been crazy, we are extremely fortunate," said Amanda Paschke '99, who lives only a few blocks away from the World Trade Center and has yet been unable to return home.
Shortly after the country and Amherst learned of the disaster, an Amherst Alumni locator website (http://www.heehorse.com/site/amherst/locator.php) was created for people to report the status of alumni in Washington, D.C. and New York. Hundreds of names have been added over the past week, including alumni from as far back as the Class of 1967.
Below are the accounts of a few alumni who experienced the terror of Sept. 11.
Amanda Paschke '99
A medical student at the State University of New York Downstate Medical Center in Brooklyn, Paschke lives only two blocks from where the World Trade Center buildings once stood in lower Manhattan. "It is like a war zone, covered with soldiers and police," she said, describing the area surrounding her home.
Still unable to return to her apartment, which is intact but without utilities, Paschke said that she has spent the past week "going from friend's apartment to friend's apartment."
On Saturday, Paschke was allowed to return home for 15 minutes with a National Guard escort. "We had to wear dust masks and be led single file up the street ... It is like living in a war-torn area with all the dust and rubble."
"It has been very shocking ... especially living here," said Paschke, describing how the attack on the World Trade Center has affected her and New York City. "This morning it took me an extra half-hour to get to school because there was a bomb threat on the subway," she said. "I think, for a lot of people I have been talking to here ... there is just an overwhelming feeling of sadness ... I guess it is enhanced by all the reminders, the media saying that it is never going to be the same."
"I have been in contact with people who saw the actual events happening ... hearing those awful first-hand stories ... it has been awful," she added. "All the horrible hate crimes against Muslims, people afraid to go to work, ... it just deepens the sadness."
Paschke and many of her acquaintances volunteered to help at the hospital where she is a medical student. "We are a big trauma center," she said, adding that the hospital was initially told to expect hundreds of victims. "They never called [volunteers] because there were no survivors ... It just made everyone feel more helpless."
Paschke also described an experience that she felt was particularly poignant and indicative of the current spirit of New York City. Paschke was in a crowded Grand Central Station last Wednesday, when a group of approximately 60 firefighters from Connecticut came off a train. She said that the firefighters had obviously come into New York to help at the site of the World Trade Center. "All of a sudden this one person starts to clap ... then all of the station started clapping," she said.
Philippe Lanier '00
Lanier was a witness to the entire attack on the World Trade Center. He wrote in an email to The Student, "Any first hand stories I may give might seem unique from my perspective, however they will sound no different than the countless stories one hears on the news. Therefore I would like to abstain from recounting my experiences about what I saw, and focus on what comes next for me and others in the world.
"There are those who need to mourn and commiserate in order to recover. There are others who feel the need to move on and get back to business and their lives. Everyone chooses their own way to continue a forward path. I would call on all the people of our generation to do the most they can to grow from this experience. Now is the time to both never forget and at the same time rise past what has happened. As the future leaders, it is us who must set an example for everyone to follow.
"With all the negative that comes from such a tragedy, we should all do our most to ensure that a greater amount of good results. I have already seen examples of this in people everywhere. Let's hope it continues."
Colin Beirne '01
"I worked in the World Financial Center, which is actually across the street [from the World Trade Center]," said Beirne, who was on his way to work as an analyst for Lehman Brothers on Sept. 11. He was in the subway at the time when the planes hit the World Trade Center. "When I got in the subway, they told me they were not stopping at the World Trade Center because there was smoke. That was all they told us."
Beirne exited the subway one stop beyond the World Trade Center, a block and a half away from his office and the site of the attack. Two minutes had passed since the second plane hit. "I had no idea what happened," he said.
Beirne said that he called his mother and asked her to turn on the news to figure out what was happening. He then "milled around" for approximately a quarter of an hour, calling people and trying to figure out what had transpired.
"I was standing a block away when the first one started to collapse." he said. Beirne described running from the cloud of smoke and debris. "The cloud of smoke came very quickly around corners ... It always felt like it was catching up," he said.
Beirne and others sought refuge at a loading dock, but the smoke was "leaking and seeping under the doors." He went back outside into the smoke. "You couldn't see more than a foot in front of you ... It was just this orange haze."
Beirne and others linked arms and tried to make their way through the smoke and dust. "We were calling out 'how do we get out, how do we get out, where is the air?'" He described how the smoke made his eyes burn and how he had to spit soot and dust out of his mouth every few moments.
"I just walked east and north," Beirne said. He walked approximately five miles to his brother's home. Beirne described the thousands of people walking thought the streets. "The amazing sight to me were all the people going across bridges ... They had no idea where they were going but they just wanted to get off the island."
Beirne commented on the spirit of New York in the aftermath of the attacks. He said that he agreed with the media's portrayal of New York pulling together. "Immediately, there were people taking charge in the streets," he said. "I was really amazed at the people who immediately afterward were helping out."
"Being in the city has also been very difficult because you wanted to think about something else but you couldn't," he said. "It is a dream. It makes you want to do nothing but sit at home and watch the news."
"It is amazing the amount of scale this has had worldwide," Beirne added. "Everybody knows someone who knows someone ... It really touches the lives of everyone."
"I think it is important to move on and try not to let this weigh down [your] lives for weeks to come," he advised the Amherst community. "You are not really in jeopardy of forgetting ... It is going to change the way we live, I think."
Sally deGozzaldi '84
"It was just a normal day," said deGozzaldi, who works in the sixth corridor of the Pentagon in the Joint Chiefs of Staff office. "I heard a loud noise and felt a jolt. It felt like an explosion."
She said that once they opened the door to their office, which is sealed from the hallway, they were told to leave the building. "They said get out, get out, everyone get out," she added.
"I am one wedge over from where the impact was," she said. "At that point we were just trying to account for everyone ... The reality of it was terrible ... I wasn't frightened for myself, I was frightened for people I know that work there."
deGozzaldi said her first reaction directly after the attack was feeling "charged up." She said that she remembered thinking, "I've got to get out, I've got to do something."
After everyone in her office was accounted for, deGozzaldi drove home. "It took me about two hours to get home," she said.
"I went into work the next day," she said, adding that "my office had been closed off." Though there was no fire or water damage to her office, the electricity was not working.
deGozzaldi described how the event affected her young son. "What probably scared him more [than the actual attack] was when I went to work the next day," she said. "The Pentagon was basically still on fire."
"The biggest [challenge] is to try to fight the fear. What I am doing is trying to fight the terror," she said. "This is certainly a situation that the United States and the world has never had to face."