During the lecture, Kimmel discussed the changing relationship between men and women in the workplace, the classroom, the family and in sexuality. He began by challenging ideas presented in the best-selling book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus," saying that coeducation is indeed proof that the book was wrong about the great degree of differences between men and women.
"We are in fact not from Mars or Venus. We are earthlings," he said.
Kimmel pointed to surveys that asked the same questions in 1970 and again in 2000, which showed that women are dramatically dissatisfied with men. He said that while on the surface this seems to suggest that men are doing badly, in reality it shows how much women have changed.
"They're disappointed in us now ... There have been colossal changes in the past 30 to 40 years in the lives of women in this country," Kimmel said. "But what's been happening to men?"
In respect to the changes in women's career expectations, Kimmel noted that, in three generations, women have gone from housewife to balancing motherhood and their careers, while the expectations of the male workforce have not changed at all. He said that while previously women had to make a choice between work or family, today they are unwilling to make that choice.
"Women made gender visible in schools and the workplace, but we act as if gender only matters to women. Gender remains invisible to men. They don't know it matters to them like women do," Kimmel said.
"Making gender visible to men is absolutely critical," he added.
In this respect, Kimmel compared the identity issues women face to those faced by other minorities. "When I look into the mirror, I see a human being," he said. "It's a privilege not to have to think about race or gender [as a part of one's identity]."
Kimmel pointed to the recent wave of 38 school shootings, on which he is doing a study, and noted the vast array of similarities between the young perpetrators. All were white, adolescent boys in suburban or rural neighborhoods who had been socially outcast, but their similarities as a group were not recognized because they were all white males.
"The trick," he said, "is to make gender visible to men in the courses we teach."
Moving on to relationships between men and women in the family situation, Kimmel advocated "quantity time" over the American notion of "quality time," saying that doing the mundane things around the house can help fathers build relationships with their children. He noted that an overwhelming number of men say they would like to be good fathers or better fathers than their fathers were.
"The only way to be the kind of fathers we want to be is to share in the housework and child care," he said.
"I found it really interesting and inspiring," said Amy Summerville '02, one of the students who helped plan the event. "He was very honest about the problems colleges such as Amherst face, but I think he also held out a lot of hope for potential solutions for how to deal with them."
"It was really thought-provoking," said Rob Winograd '02. "I thought he had a lot of good points and definitely opened up a lot of issues men generally don't speak about."
"It's exciting to be here at a place where students are engaged and energetic, and I'm glad to see that the discussion about these issues has already begun here," Kimmel said following the discussion.