Being Lord Jeffery Amherst
By Josh Glasser, Managing News Editor
If there is one thing I learned from being the Lord Jeffery Amherst mascot at three recent basketball games, it’s that I can’t dance. And to think that I used to believe I could! Saturday nights, I love to stand on the windowsill or couches with my friends, dancing and belting out the lyrics to the latest pop hits. Our recent favorite is Miley Cyrus’s “See You Again.” I’ll be the first to admit, our song choices, more typical of teenybopper 12-year-old girls, are kind of embarrassing for 20-year-old college guys. But perhaps Saturday nights—and everything that goes with them—can blur one’s perception of reality.

But I would still like to think that standing in front of hundreds of screaming students in LeFrak Gymnasium, my 18th century colonial American garb and oversized, cartoonish George-Washington-look-alike head adversely affected my dancing abilities. My hips didn’t sway like they should have, my moves just weren’t right. Let’s just chalk it up to the costume and a little bit of stage fright. Nevertheless, I had fun and would like to believe I contributed a bit to our teams’ success—not to mention gained another interesting learning experience.

Growing up, I never saw myself as a mascot. Mascots have always intrigued me (as a New Yorker, Mr.. Met is my personal favorite), but I liked to picture myself as the star small forward for my high school and college basketball teams. Perhaps I’d even get drafted by the NBA. But things never quite worked out. After reaching the pinnacle of my basketball career—getting placed in the top-third of the 60 boys in my seventh grade class according to basketball ability—I knew it couldn’t get any better. I traded in my Nikes for a Speedo.

When I saw the posters soliciting students to try out to be the new Lord Jeff, I figured I could do a bit more to contribute to the Amherst sports program. Moreover, I had experience dressing up as my high school mascot (an eagle) at Homecoming one year to write an article similar to this one. I loved the experience, spending time chatting up the cheerleaders of the opposing team in my eagle suit. I thought, why not give it the old college try once again?

Becoming the mascot this year did not require just signing up, although it nearly could have. As many of you know, the Student Athlete Advisory Committee organized a contest held in Johnson Chapel to regenerate interest in the mascot and bring the Lord Jeff back to basketball games and other athletic events. We were required to deliver a speech, lead a cheer and participate in a mystery event.

I prepared diligently for my speech, as I had no idea what kind of competition I would face that blistery February evening in Johnson Chapel. I started with a few short anecdotes about how my dad used to take my brother and me up to the College to cheer on the Jeffs as they took on Williams College in football on those classic New England fall days we all know so well. More memorable than students rushing the field to tear down the goalposts in celebration of an Amherst victory, though, was the way alumni of every generation rose after each Jeff touchdown to sing the Lord Jeffery Amherst song. I also recounted how when my high school physics teacher (who was not an Amherst alum) learned I was going to Amherst, he found me in the library to extend his congratulations and started giving me his own tone-deaf rendition of the famous song. The lesson from these two stories, I explained to the sparse Johnson Chapel audience, is this: the Lord Jeffery Amherst song is celebrated throughout the country and it’s a shame that today’s students lack knowledge of this storied tradition, an important part of our College’s heritage and public image. Yes, I ran for Lord Jeff on the platform of restoring this distinguished song to its former glory.

For the competition, I proceeded to lead the crowd in an old Amherst cheer I had found in the College’s archives in the Library. And, next, the surprise event: a timed obstacle course to be completed wearing the Lord Jeff mascot head. The thought of spinning myself around 10 times with my head to a baseball bat after a Val meal almost made me puke in my pew, but I could not be defeated. After dizzy bat, I felt like I was going to fall down flat right there. After a few steps that must have looked like Jeff had stumbled out of a country saloon, I hopped through a few cones … barely. Footballs and frisbees eluded my grasp ... twice ... and hit me smack in the face. And to think I once thought of myself as athletic I luckily managed to complete the jump rope task with 10 dramatic heaves of the cord over my head. As I tripped onto the stage, I let out an exasperated, “Go, Jeffs!” I had one competitor and we both got the job.

Determined not to give up on my campaign pledge to bring back the prominence of the Lord Jeffery Amherst song, I arranged for Dean of Students Ben Lieber to e-mail all students the lyrics and a recording of the song so all could practice before the big weekend. The Glee Club agreed to lead the crowd.

Two Saturdays ago, I spent the morning in the library, anxiously awaiting the 6 p.m. tip-off of the men’s New England Small College Athletic Conference (NESCAC) semi-final game against the Bowdoin College Polar Bears. I got dressed in my room and my friend Alex Miller ’10 parked us on the Freshman Quad because we didn’t think we could find parking by the gym. As we walked across the quad, I kept asking Alex if he was embarrassed to be seen with me as we encountered puzzled gazes. He was too polite.

However, as we turned the corner to go to LeFrak by the War Memorial, we ran into first-year divas (in a good way) Allie Dalglish ’11, Rachel Egan’11 and Carly Leahy ’11, who, dressed in purple spandex, stopped to chat. I still don’t know whether they were interested in me or Jeff (probably the latter), but they stopped to talk and snap a couple of photos nonetheless.

At the basketball game, I got off to a slow start. Although the crowd was large, I had trouble getting the student section focused. I felt flat on my feet and experienced the stage fright I had sought to avoid. But as the game got more intense, I tried a couple of dance moves and got the crowd up and cheering for our team. At half time, with the Polar Bears leading 36-30, I felt frustrated. The crowd was not reacting as I had hoped. Furthermore, the crowd was not as prepared as I had anticipated to join the Glee Club in the Lord Jeffery Amherst song. I vowed to be more proactive in the second half.

Yet the tides did not turn so easily. Bowdoin grabbed a 50-39 lead and soon held on by a 56-45 margin. I could not believe what was happening. I decided to do just that. Plus, I was under a mask. What did I have to worry? I jumped, I screamed, I danced. I got the crowd on its feet. I would even like to believe Lord Jeff Nation delivered the Jeffs a 64-63 lead before Bowdoin closed out the game, 65-64. Yet, after my first performance, I knew I shouldn’t give myself too much credit. What if we had been cheering with the same intensity that characterized the second half from the start?

The next day I walked into LeFrak for the women’s basketball NESCAC finals against Tufts University. Performing for a crowd of mostly middle-aged parents and Tufts fans was a challenge, but I tried to get the Amherst crowd dancing and clapping during timeouts. The Jeffs thankfully closed out the game for the win and I stormed the court with the women in giddy celebration. I mean, who would ever pass up the opportunity to hug a sweaty Anne-Claire Roesch ’08?

This past Saturday we hosted John Jay College for the men’s basketball NCAA sectionals and I promised myself I would go all out from the start. I practiced my moves at the infamous Bar Mitzvah Party the night before and felt ready. Jake Duker ’09 and Jonathan Pryor ’08 who ran the sound system at the game let me send in my musical repertoire early so I felt more prepared. The crowd was excited and we fed off each other’s energy. The vocal John Jay fans and the presence of their Bloodhound mascot boosted my competitive spirit. We could not come up short again. I danced—albeit, poorly—every timeout break. I gave President Tony Marx and his daughter high fives. I tried distracting the Jay players while they stood at the foul line before getting told by the refs if I did that one more time, I would get escorted out of the gym. I carried Nneya Richards ’08 on my shoulders and ran up and down the side of the court.

Through the vicissitudes of mascoting at the basketball games, I’ve gained a newfound appreciation for the job. It’s hot, it’s sweaty, it’s thankless—although I do enjoy my new nickname, Lord Josh. Despite some small setbacks, the feeling of the crowd screaming behind you is unparalleled and the emotion of the crowd after a big play with you leading it all is truly thrilling. While I embarked on my journey to become the Lord Jeff for the purpose of this article (and out of a little curiosity), I value my experience and appreciate the opportunity. Furthermore, I hope the student body continues to incorporate the Lord Jeffery Amherst song at athletic contests and other celebratory College events. And, if anything, being Lord Jeff humbled me as a dancer. Still, it’s given me all the more reason to keep practicing.

Issue 20, Submitted 2008-03-12 05:03:18