When historians look back on the last four years, beginning in the fall of 1997 and ending in the spring of 2001, they will most likely remember this period for being the time when Amherst was irrevocably altered by the presence of … well … me. Yes, some might argue that our number one ranking in the U.S. News and World Report and our incredibly large endowment are due to a variety of forces beyond my control, but I disagree. Everything positive that has happened here in the last four years can be attributed to me and to no one else. One need only look at the facts and figures to truly appreciate the impact that I have had on this college.
Before my arrival, Amherst was sinking in corruption and mediocrity. In the U.S. News rankings, Amherst was consistently being pounded into the ground by its rival academic stalwart, Swarthmore College. Yet, to everyone's surprise-not mine-Amherst rebounded in my sophomore year and reclaimed the top spot. Victory was surely sweet. Thanks only to my matriculation and to all the great statistical data that I brought to Amherst, we crushed our competitors. Buoyed by this triumph, our college set out on an ambitious and successful alumni giving drive.
My tenure at Amherst, unfortunately, had its low points. In my third year, we dropped a spot in the national liberal arts rankings, which, in all probability, was due to the Class of 2003. I was criticized from all sides, and even my most trusted aides questioned my ability to lead this college to true greatness. Like all great leaders, however, I bounced back with the furor of a caged tiger and led our school to the number one ranking in my final year. Additionally, thanks to me, the College's financial portfolio made significant gains.
There are some who seek to credit these triumphs to President Gerety, the Board of Trustees and the admission staff; don't listen to these foolish people. Thank me for all you have, and pray that it does not slip away once I leave. Students of Amherst, consider yourselves lucky to have had a person of my stature and intellect grace this college with my presence. People like me only come around so often. Remember the "Clinton Years"-I mean "Shapiro Years"-for what they were: a period of unheralded greatness and success.