The neo-con-artists were not wrong when they swore that the people of Iraq would throw flowers at the feet of the invading American troops. "Flowers" is in fact a slang word the neo-con-artists picked up during their extensive tours of duty in Vietnam, where they valiantly served God and country, just as our boys are now doing in Iraq. "Flowers," to the initiated, is a code word for bullets, bombs, explosives and assorted ordnance-hence the phrase "a bouquet of flowers."

To change the subject for a moment, here is a fine example of words and phrases that cannot be printed in a public newspaper: "[Expletive] you. Stay the [expletive] out of my bag you [expletive] sucker. Have you found a [expletive] bomb yet? No, just clothes. Am I right? Yea, so [expletive] you" (The Boston Globe, Aug. 2, 2003). Seventeen-year-old David Socha, an authentic American hero, penned these lovely words in a note he left in his black gym bag, for the fine employees of the Transportation Security Administration at Logan International Airport in Boston. Unfortunately his soothing reassurances failed to have their intended effect and "Socha was arrested by State Police and his mother, father, and sister, were ordered off United Airlines Flight 171 to Honolulu via San Francisco, which was set to depart at 7:07 a.m." (The Boston Globe).

Socha is guilty of a most vicious crime-failing to recognize that we live in an increasingly Orweillian world. Every cranny and crevice of your person and property must be presented for inspection by the authorities upon command. Any resistance-juvenile rants included-will be crushed mercilessly.

 According to David A. Procopio, spokesman for the Suffolk County District Attorney's Office, "Putting a false bomb threat in your luggage is not something we take lightly. In the current climate, it's just unacceptable because of the fear and panic it causes." Hopefully young Socha has learned his lesson and will in future emulate me by just taking it like a lamb.

The people of Kenya have also joined the ranks of lambs being led to the slaughter courtesy of their government. The Government of Kenya (GK) has worked assiduously to annihilate the fundamental human right of self defense. By prohibiting and restricting the ownership of firearms by individuals, GK has turned law-abiding citizens into sitting ducks at the mercy of depraved criminals.

The people experience the tragic consequences of the government's antihuman policies everyday. As The East African Standard reported on Aug. 19, 2003, "It seems inconceivable that four gun-wielding thugs could take over a major highway in the capital city, rob motorists at will, shoot others and comfortably escape without any reaction whatsoever from the police. Yet this is exactly what happened last Wednesday. Gangsters staged a road-block along Langata Highway, robbed and terrorized motorists and escaped without a single shot being fired at them."

An even greater atrocity occurred the next day, when "A young couple, their nine-month-old baby and house-help were … killed when robbers set their house ablaze … The thugs ... were heard to say: "Tutakuwa hapa mpaka mchana"-We shall be here until dawn"-as they dared neighbors to come out of their houses.

Prior to these incidents, I had been involved in a discussion about the state instigated "land clashes" that rocked Molo and other parts of Kenya in the early 90s, leaving thousands dead and displaced. I suggested that had the citizenry been armed, an alternative scenario would have played out:

A person sits in the drawing room of his hacienda in Mol when some unwashed state-sponsored "warriors" decided to pay him a visit. As an African and a gentleman it is his duty to see that guests-invited or otherwise-do not leave his home without partaking in some victuals. So, unperturbed by the shrill war cries that fill the air, he calmly takes down his AK-47 and proceeds to fill his guests with quantities of lead projectiles moving at an extremely high velocity. Within seconds quiet calm has been restored to home and hearth.

It's rather chilly outside, so he is not too keen on going outside to retrieve the bodies. Nevertheless it is "no problemo," as the Spanish say. Let them rot in the fields. The deceased were useless as warriors but will prove extremely valuable as fertilizer.

The sages of the Swahili people put it this way, "dawa ya moto ni moto"-"fire must be fought with fire." Unfortunately, GK and many Kenyans have decided to cast the wisdom of our forefather's aside and have instead embraced moronic "solutions" like paying the police more. They seem oblivious to the fact that elements of the police have variously been involved in armed gangs, the protection of known criminals and the leasing of police equipment to gangsters for the commission of violent acts. In general, the police have been petty and vicious tyrants.

I'll never forget the day I was stopped outside my house and harassed for 15 minutes by cops who wanted to see my ID, or the time my friends were stopped by patrolmen and told in semi-literate Kiswahili, "Wakati kama huu ya usiku, kuna watu aina tatu. Iko jambazi, iko malaya na iko polisi. Sasa jitambue!"-"At this time of night, there are three types of people; thugs, prostitutes and the police. Now identify yourselves!"

The people know who the gangsters and hoodlums are, and once the people have the guns they will be able to eliminate the cancer. Within two days the rotten apples will be crushed and turned into cider that the people can sip in a peaceful, armed, new Kenya.

Now, allow me to bid you adieu with a few well-worn clichés: "Hasta la vista baby," "adios amigo" and the granddaddy of 2003,"Bring 'em on!"