Fox has promised to "shock and awe" its rival networks during sweeps week when it airs a two-hour interview in which Donald Rumsfeld details how he would have botched the invasion of Iraq, had he done it. Rumsfeld is also releasing a book entitled "If I Botched the Iraq War, Here's How I Did It," just in time for holiday shopping. For the record, he calls the book "pure fiction" and claims to be searching "the real Secretary of Defense who got us into this mess." Fox didn't divulge details of their interview with Rumsfeld, other than to say it was "tasteless" and "desperate." Critics surmised that the graphic vulgarity of this special might even surpass the bawdiness of last year's Fox extravaganza, "When Liberal Arts Majors Attack!"

Cindy Sheehan also chimed in over the weekend on Fox's decision to air the interview, objecting to the millions of dollars Rummy was paid for the interview and book. In response, Rumsfeld indicated that any proceeds he earned will go toward "the reconstruction effort. No, not in Iraq, I'm actually renovating my home."

Rumsfeld's book is only the latest in the emerging genre of "hypothetical confession," where celebrities write about something they supposedly never did. Some of the better-selling examples include Bill Clinton's "If I Cheated on My Wife, Here's How" and Mohandas Ghandi's "If I was a Major Spiritual and Political Leader of the Indian Independence Movement, Here's How."

Intense criticism has also focused on Fox's interviewer, Rhonda Reagan, who happens to be the publisher for the book. Rhonda defended her actions by explaining that intense personal needs compelled her to conduct the interview, "both for personal closure, and for money. Actually, mostly the money." Newspapers have not shied away from name-calling. For example, the normally reserved Christian Science Monitor has called Reagan "a loathsome scamp of indescribable depravity." MTV also released an unusually strong statement, saying, "We would 'Next' her immediately if given the choice. And if she were dating one of our sons, we would not hesitate to throw her onto 'Parental Control' so that she could be promptly replaced."

The Amherst Student received an early copy of Rumsfeld's book and reported that the description of the war planning in the book is "so incompetent and wrong-headed- with Rumsfeld as the central figure -that it certainly is a confession." In fact, talking heads vociferously debated whether the book constituted a confession. Pope Benedict weighed in on the issue, positing, "I don't care if he admits to doing it. If he isn't talking to the Catholic Jesus, it's not a confession."

John is a senior economics major. You can reach him at jlbuchman@amherst.edu.