The glee in my father's eyes when I told him I would be going to Amherst College this fall, a mere 777 miles away from my Chicago home, made me feel as though he couldn't be more proud of my decision. Little did I know the glee wasn't a sign of being proud of my making it through the tough college admissions process, but instead signified my father's happiness that, after 18 years, he could finally have a second closet, a place to store his hundreds of books, and a sanctuary away from my step-mom and seven-year-old sister. It was time to the harsh, cold reality: I would never again have a room of my own. Luckily for me, my grandma had different sentiments, and all of my childhood belongings ended up safely stored and displayed in a room at her house.

Deciding what to do with a child's room after he or she leaves for college is a dilemma many parents, along with their college-aged children, don't know how to handle. On one hand there are parents, much like my father, who have been waiting years to finally throw out their kids' so-called junk, and create a guest room or getaway. There are also sentimental folks, like my grandma, who wouldn't dare change a thing in their child's room, because of the fear that if they do, their child will never come home again. But which sentiment is right?

Of course no parent is totally pleased when their child leaves home. Yes, they are happy for you, but you have been, in essence, their lives for the past 18 years, and now for the first time they won't see you at least once a day. This could be the source of many overwhelming feelings: freedom, grief, or even the anxiety of not knowing exactly how to feel. For those parents who suddenly feel free, changing their child's room may seem like the logical next step. Parents saddened by their kid's absence may decide that, in order to ease their grief, they too should change their child's room, or they may feel compelled to turn the room into a museum-like tribute to their young collegiate scholar. Those parents who do not know quite what to feel may decide to slowly transition their child's room as time passes.

It is pretty certain that kids will not strongly advocate the altering of their rooms, but for some it may not be as traumatizing of an event. What I will acknowledge is that first semester of your freshman year is full of changes that can be very overwhelming. For some this is the first time leaving home, and others, who have been away before, still have to learn to adjust to college life. With all of this change it may be helpful to hold some things constant. When you go home for break it may be nice to know that things at home haven't changed much, even though you may have changed. It can be comforting and heartening to see your old, familiar sanctuary.

When considering these two viewpoints it is easy to see that when it comes to deciding how to treat an abandoned room, full of memories, you need to act rationally and not to an extreme. Deciding when and how to change a child's room is something that parents should at least discuss with their children. So the next time you hear your dad discussing plans to turn your old childood nest into his new poker lounge, or your mom expressing how she wishes she had more closet space, make sure you tell them not to make any rash decisions without you. After all, it is your room-but it's their house.