4:45 p.m.: All week I've felt fairly confident that the Patriots will win. However, I'm getting nervous. Everyone agrees the Patriots are the better team and that Jake Delhomme has no business being in Houston. The only people who think the Panthers will win are the die-hard Patriots haters, aka New Yorkers. However, I'm not convinced. People said the 2001-02 Patriots were one of the worst teams in Super Bowl history, but this Panthers team definitely rivals that. Despite my anxiety, I'm sticking with the Pats. Pre-Super Bowl prediction: Patriots 27 Panthers 13.
5:15 p.m.: NBC is running a World Poker Tour tournament. Are there two more male-bonding activities than poker and football? And are there two other activities in which girls feel more out of place?
6:26 p.m.: The game is about to start. Just to clue you in, there are seven guys sitting on couches watching the kickoff. The testosterone is flowing.
6:29 p.m.: This is my first astute comment of the night: Jake Delhomme went to Lafayette University-do they even have a football team at Lafayette? Was he even the starter?
6:38 p.m.: Vinatieri may have just bought his ticket out of town after that miss. Immunity seemed very reasonable yesterday, but who knows now?
6:41 p.m.: I think Romeo Crennel and Charlie Weis are the only two coaches in football who you could combine into one person as large as Ted Washington.
6:56 p.m.: "You could drive a truck through that hole." Thanks Pat, great observation. This comment always confused me though. Are trucks somehow wider than cars? I didn't think so, but someone needs to think about this a little more.
7:01 p.m.: The Panthers have nine plays and negative two yards on three possessions. Has a team ever been held to negative yardage in an entire game? Things like this need to happen.
7:05 p.m.: Jake Delhomme has the "I can't believe I'm playing in the Super Bowl, I can't feel my legs" look going right now. Amazing.
7:06 p.m.: Jed just wondered aloud how the Giants lost to these teams during the season. He's officially lost it. Next he's going to wonder if Oklahoma could win the Super Bowl. This could get ugly.
7:07 p.m.: Jed just read what I wrote and responded, "What I'm really wondering is whether E.J. Mills' Lord Jeffs could beat either of these teams." Mills, I hope you're reading this.
7:23 p.m.: "To win this game, the Patriots need to score points." Understatement of the night. Thanks Phil Simms and Bryant Gumbel.
7:31 p.m.: The Charmin commercial with the QB rubbing the toilet paper hanging from the back of his center's ass is the best commercial so far.
7:34 p.m.: Lyons is talking about getting paint on his jersey during the Trinity game this year. My response: "Lyons, you've never even played in a real game, how'd you get your jersey dirty?"
7:35 p.m.: The Panthers have zero offensive yards with seven minutes left in the half. Is this the worst offensive performance in Super Bowl history?
7:37 p.m.: Adam Vinatieri just missed another field goal. If the Patriots lose this game, Vinatieri may be considered the next Buckner despite being considered a god 60 minutes ago. I can't even explain how this makes me feel. What a tragedy.
7:40 p.m.: If Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson ever had a televised face-to-face conversation, it would break every rating record in television history. The unintentional comedy would be off the charts. If they added Dikembe Mutombo to the event, I don't think I would even be able to watch.
7:45 p.m.: 7-0 Patriots, let the romp begin. The Patriots just broke the seal, and you know what happens once you break the seal. It's all over. Once you start, you just can't stop.
7:48 p.m.: "Mmmm, the nuts are definitely the best part,"-Anonymous (referring to Crackerjacks).
7:51 p.m.: Delhomme: 1-for-9, 1 yard. "That's one yard more than I have in my Super Bowl career"-Jed. Ten seconds later after a 15-yard pass: "Well, now he has a lot more yards than I have."
7:58 p.m.: The Panthers have negative eight times as many yards on their current drive as they had on their previous six. Try to figure out that math. I dare you.
8:00 p.m.: Delhomme must have prayed a lot before this game, because this touchdown pass was only completed through divine intervention.
8:02 p.m.: A girl just walked in, said one sentence and already the average football IQ of the room dropped 50 points. "That's why girls shouldn't be allowed to watch the Super Bowl." At least I wasn't the one who said it out loud.
8:08 p.m.: Warm up the bus. 14-7 Patriots heading into the half. Big Mo is definitely on the Pats' side.
8:13 p.m.: 14-10 Patriots at the half. Big Mo just left the room.
8:27 p.m.: Is Kid Rock singing "Bawitdabaw?" Couldn't they have gotten a better B-list celebrity to sing at halftime of the Super Bowl? I mean, come on, wasn't Lou Bega available for "Mambo #5?"
8:33 p.m.: OMG did that really happen? "Are you even serious, was Janet Jackson's boob really on national TV?." Yes, yes it was. We're still in shock.
8:43 p.m.: "That streaker ran for more yards than the Panthers in the first half"-Pat.
8:56 p.m.: "Who's the second-best player on the Patriots?" Yup, you guessed it, more girls in the room. Minutes later … "Is this game in New England or Carolina?" I don't think I need to explain.
9:43 p.m.: This can't be happening. Brady cannot turn human right now .... What a time for the worst decision of the year. Someone remind him he is the next Joe Montana!
9:51 p.m.: Okay, the Patriots cannot let Delhomme complete Hail Marys. That is unacceptable. I feel like I'm in the twilight zone. I don't even know what to say right now. I'm flabbergasted. Someone kick Jake Delhomme in the face. Where are Janet Jackson's breasts when we need them?
10:02 p.m.: If Vinatieri hits the game-winning field goal, is he a hero again? Okay, we're not talking about that. Forget I mentioned it. I never wrote that.
10:05 p.m.: Touchdown Mike Vrabel! Kevin Faulk two-point conversion. 29-22 Patriots. Bookies everywhere are unconscious.
10:16 p.m.: Did Jake Delhomme just drive the Panthers 80 yards in like 90 seconds? Maybe he isn't as bad as we all thought.
10:17 p.m.: "Is this going to push back 'Survivor All-Stars'?" Did Jed really say that? Unacceptable.
10:18 p.m.: Vinatieri missed two FGs and his squib kick at the end of the first half led to a Panthers FG. Yet the worst special teams play of the night was Kasey's kickoff out of bounds. Unbelievable!
10:25p.m.: Here comes Vinatieri for the game winner. If he makes this, this column is over. It's good!!!!!!! Patriots 32, Panthers 29. Hope you enjoyed the show!