Neurotic presents NBA pre-midseason ranking
By Judd Olanoff, Neurotic New Yorker
The next column isn't until almost February, by which point the NBA will be readying for its midseason All-Star festivities in Houston. So now is the time to reveal an updated set of team rankings, from best to worst:

Pistons: At 13-2 the Pistons are the most complete team in the league, with the same defensive potency from previous years and a newly induced offensive spark, perhaps inspired by new coach Flip Saunders. But you have to wonder about that 37-point loss to Dallas.

Mavericks: In discussions of the West's elite, everyone forgets the Mavs, who seemed on the decline after Nash and Finley departed. But Dallas is 12-5, Jason Terry is scoring 17 points per game to complement Dirk's 25 and the young Howard-Daniels-Harris trio has proved capable of providing a lift. If Van Horn stops throwing the ball out of bounds in late game situations, the Mavs can win the West.

Spurs: The supposed powerhouse dropped decisions against Chicago and Washington, which we can consider anomalies. But what to make of the foreboding 19-point loss to Dallas on Nov. 5?

Suns: Sitting at 10-5 without Amare is inherently impressive, and though blessed with a softy schedule, they have topped Indiana, Golden State and Denver. If Stoudemire returns healthy in February, Phoenix will be in the mix with San Antonio and Dallas.

Pacers: Yes, they are 10-6 and Artest is healthy and scoring 20 a game, but the Pacers have posted an 18-point loss to Phoenix, a 32-point loss to the Bobcats and-most horrifying-a two-point loss to lowly Atlanta.

Grizzlies: The Grizzlies are a surprise at 12-5 with impressive wins over Dallas and Cleveland, but the schedule toughens up with Indiana, Detroit and Dallas coming up.

Cavaliers: LeBron is dominating, but even better news is that Gooden is posting 10 rebounds per game and LeBron's supporting cast is scoring 62 points per contest.

Clippers: Mobley and Maggette are scoring. Cassell is posting All-Star caliber numbers (16 ppg and seven assists per game). Brand is putting up MVP-type numbers (24 ppg and 11 rpg). The Clips are 12-5 and in first place.

Warriors: At 12-6 and winners of five straight, the Warriors are driven by the dynamic Davis-Richardson duo, but who would have thought that Murphy, Fisher and Pietrus would all score in double figures?

Bucks: They are 9-6 and have cooled considerably after an explosive start. The Bucks likely will fizzle their way to the eighth-or-so playoff seed, but if Magloire continues to post double-digit rebounds, maybe they'll be a serious threat.

Timberwolves: They've been surprisingly successful at 10-6, but how long will KG, in his 11th year, wallow in Minnesota in the post-Cassell/Sprewell era? He may force a trade-if not now, then this summer.

Heat: Williams' and Walker's stats are adequate, but Alonzo can't fill in for Shaq forever. And even when Shaq comes back, Miami misses Eddie and Damon Jones too much to win the East.

Nets: Porous defense and poor team chemistry have led to a hugely disappointing 7-9 record after a stupefying loss to Toronto, but the depths of the Nets' current misery still have them near the top of the Atlantic, which they'll end up winning easily.

Wizards: They're 7-8 after a great start, and Butler has impressed, but in the end this team lives and dies with Arenas, who is becoming a superstar but needs help.

Bulls: Chicago is 8-8 and will make the playoffs. Gordon, Deng and Hinrich make for a remarkably balanced attack. But doesn't this group look more like an elite college team than an elite NBA team?

Knicks: New York fans are impatient and aren't pleased with a 5-11 record amid reports of tension between Stephon and Larry Brown, but the Knicks are getting much better, as evidenced by recent bench development and an admirable effort against Detroit on Friday.

76ers: They are 8-10 and leading the Atlantic, which is most likely a temporary phenomenon. Webber has made a 180 from last year and is now scoring 20 ppg to go with 10 rpg. But can a team win deep in the playoffs with one guy-A.I.-scoring 34 a game?

Nuggets: Marcus Camby's spectacular resurgence may allow the Nuggets to compete in April, though they'll miss Nene.

Kings: The Kings are talented on the perimeter, but the Shareef move was vastly overrated. Brad Miller is conspicuously alone in the middle. This portends a first-round playoff exit.

Hornets: The Hornets are a great turnaround story at .500, but such success is miraculous. Look at the roster. Sorry to predict a rather significant and precipitous fall from grace.

Sonics: They've got Allen and Lewis and that's it. May not make the playoffs.

Celtics: The Celtics are 7-9 and looking good with Davis helping shoulder some of Pierce's burden, but Pierce is their leading rebounder at nine rpg, with no one else close.

Lakers: Is this really what Kobe wanted? A mediocre team going nowhere on which he could hurl 30 shots per game?

Jazz: Deron Williams may be the next J-Kidd, but that doesn't change that Kirilenko and Okur are, for the time being, alone.

Magic: Dwight Howard has shown signs of brilliance but needs a few more years to carry a team to the playoffs, even with Steve Francis by his side.

Raptors: Toronto is team of the week with victories over Atlanta and New Jersey. Villanueva is proving everyone wrong.

Trailblazers: I, like Ruben Patterson, am demanding at least 25 minutes per game.

Bobcats: 5-13 but they have a bright long-term future.

Rockets: What should the 4-12 Rockets prefer: losing every game while sharing the ball, or losing a bit less with their resident ball hog in the lineup?

Hawks: Top to bottom the worst NBA roster in recent memory.

Issue 13, Submitted 2005-12-07 02:29:17