A tradition and course that's unlike any other
By Judd Olanoff, Neurotic New Yorker
I enjoy watching golf on television, which seems to make me unusual, since people regularly ask "How could you watch that game on TV" and, even worse, allege that "golf is a hobby, not a sport." For whatever reason, the haters magically suspend disbelief once per year. On Masters Sunday, golf reigns. Four staunch golf detractors, who normally disassociate from the game they mercilessly insult, sat with me for three hours, rapt, groaning with each missed Couples putt and pleading with Tiger to mount an offensive.

Maybe the three other majors-the U.S. Open, the British Open and the PGA Championship-also capture some percentage of the non-golfing public, but not as dramatically as the Masters does. The Masters transcends the PGA Tour, mostly because Augusta National is a transcendent golf course, both in terms of quality and continuity. Augusta leads players through the physically brilliant Amen Corner, the azalea- and dogwood-laden sanctuary set beside Rae's Creek where so many champions have achieved greatness against the backdrop of nature at its most magnificent stage.

This setting has graced the Masters every single year since 1934, with the exception of a few years during the Second World War when the tournament was cancelled. The continuity factor is critical to the Masters' preeminence. Golfers age, weaken and expire, but Augusta endures through time. And, once you account for the compensating factors of radically improved equipment and course lengthening, the 18-hole track, mostly unchanged, challenges players in 2006 just as it did in 1934. Imagine if Fenway Park or Yankee Stadium had hosted the World Series every season since its inception. Even this case wouldn't approach Masters majesty because golf is not just a competition among players, but a constant interaction between each competitor and the course. This central relationship between venue and player separates golf from other sports and renders the yearly date with Augusta even more special.

Exclusivity, for better or worse, lends Augusta an aura of attractive mysteriousness. Its membership is notoriously small and selective. Augusta officials prevent CBS commentators from using certain standard terms (the "back nine," it is rumored, cannot be uttered, presumably for fear of colloquialness). Then, of course, there is the on-and-off controversy concerning Augusta's refusal to admit female members. I am all for women members at Augusta. But, from Augusta's perspective, standing firm only serves their self-interest. Augusta cashes in annually on tradition, not political correctness. And, what happened when sponsors reacted to the controversy by pulling their commercials from CBS? The network decided to keep its coverage and air 56 minutes of golf every hour-one more way in which the Masters is unique. If you were Hootie Johnson, chairman of Augusta, what could be better? And how, I wonder, does CBS actually make money on the Masters?

I have one problem with Augusta. The club responded this year to burgeoning driving distances and continuously advancing club design by lengthening the golf course to an obscene 7,445 yards. Every par four measured about 450 yards, and one-the 11th hole-covered 505 yards, which is substantially longer than most par fives that amateurs play. Bear in mind that not all tour players smash the ball 330 yards off the tee. The shorter but more accurate ball striker was already at a disadvantage on account of his driving distance, and Augusta reacted by making the course even longer. That approach makes no sense. To punish long hitters, you should tighten fairways and add bunkers. Lengthening the golf course might force Phil and Tiger to hit 8-iron into a par four instead of wedge, but it will also force Ben Crenshaw to hit 4-iron into the same hole instead of 7-iron.

Phil earns anti-climatic green jacket

The leaderboard going into Sunday promised such excitement because of the star-power on top-Phil and Couples led, with Vijay, Tiger and Ernie all within striking distance. It was special for other reasons as well. Couples, the gloveless, perpetually relaxed people's champion who has battled back injury, would have become the oldest Masters champion on the 20th anniversary of the Masters when that record was previously set: the 1986 tournament which saw 46-year-old Jack Nicklaus go on a late Sunday tear and earn his sixth green jacket. Also, watching Tiger chase Phil (or chase anybody, for that matter) is like watching a cheetah run down a duck. At least we have been conditioned to think that way on account of Phil's lackadaisical, goofy, plodding, mistake-prone game and Tiger's incomparable focus and killer instinct.

As such, I waited Sunday for Phil to dump a shot into the water or lip out a three-foot putt and open the door for the rest of the field to catch him. But he never did. A new Phil, it seems, has emerged from his breakthrough first major victory in the 2004 Masters and from consultations with Rick Smith and Dave Pelz.

As if Phil's newfound sharpness wasn't surprising enough, we also witnessed a decidedly human Tiger founder as his putter abandoned him. If only Freddy's putter had come through, perhaps the poignant Couples march could have forced a serious back-nine showdown with Phil. But Couples is worn, weathered by years of back pain, set back moreso each year by fledgling Tour bombers like Aaron Oberholser. Couples' close defeat this week is that much more painful because it was likely his last chance. Nicklaus '86 magic comes around once in a very long while.

David Duval, who has fallen precipitously off the face of the golf earth over the past five years or so, shot a miserable 12-over 84 in the first round of the tournament. He then started round two on Friday by making a double bogey six on the first hole and then taking a 10 on the second hole. Assured of missing another cut in horrible fashion, Duval could have cruised and shot 87. Instead, he rallied and shot 59 on the last 16 holes, posting a total of 75. Clearly, he still is capable of playing great golf.

Issue 22, Submitted 2006-04-12 00:41:16