Poor Scheduling: Hard To Watch All Events
By Judd Olanoff, Neurotic New Yorker
This coming Saturday registers a perfect 10 on the excitement meter for Amherst sports. It is Homecoming, with the attendant alumni, tents, food, camaraderie and two showcase games. Men's soccer opens its first NCAA Tournament appearance in four years at home against Westfield State. And with the Little Three Championship at stake, the football team challenges a 7-0 Williams squad that killed Trinity's 31-game winning streak earlier this year.

Men's soccer begins an historic postseason run, football battles its archrival, and Amherst hosts both games on campus in one day. As you surely do, I want to attend both games in their entirety. But soccer's opening whistle is scheduled for 11 a.m., and football's kickoff for 12:30 p.m. The soccer game may last until 1 p.m. or even later, as overtimes and a shootout are distinct possibilities. That means if you choose to go to the soccer game, you will likely miss the beginning of the football game.

The 12:30 p.m. football kickoff is presumably unchangeable because the New England Sports Network, which televises the annual Amherst-Williams game, set its Saturday schedule long ago. Also, in November, if a football game starts much later than 12:30 p.m., the fourth quarter will struggle to beat the oncoming darkness.

But why can't soccer play at 10 a.m. or 10:30 a.m.? Maybe football could even play at 12:45 p.m. Those minor changes would make a real difference in allowing committed fans to enjoy one of the most thrilling Amherst sports days in years. Our athletic department should go out of its way to ensure a fan-friendly schedule, as long as, of course, the schedule remains agreeable to the athletes.

As long as I'm writing on this topic, allow me to reiterate the almost offensive absurdity of this year's men's basketball schedule. We have one chance every two years to host the Williams game that counts towards the NESCAC standings. Why, I wonder, would we schedule that game on Jan. 20 during Interterm? Does our athletic department seek to minimize Amherst's fan presence because someone from Williams called and begged for concessions after getting humiliated the last two years? If someone in athletics is reading this, please, in the name of Lord Jeffery himself, consider rescheduling the game for February, when Amherst students will be able to walk to LeFrak.

Lebron doesn't live up to the hype

I love the new LeBron commercials. The old man is my favorite character. "Where you goin'?" he says as he defends little LeBron in a pickup game. "I'll be on you like white on rice, like flies on … shut yo mouth." "You can't get through Detroit training in no pool," he tells normal LeBron. "You think Michael trained in a pool? I don't think so. And stop lookin at my lemonade."

LeBron is a top-flight team leader. He is a uniquely versatile and talented small forward who sees the floor like Magic and gets to the rim at will like Jordan. Upon contact he displaces defenders like a running back. His shot is improving, and his playoff game-winners against the Wizards last spring indicate a capacity to thrive late in important games. I like LeBron a lot, and he may end his career as one of the top two basketball players ever.

But let's be clear. LeBron James hasn't won anything thus far in his career. He beat the Wizards, perennial first-round prey, in last year's first round, after missing the playoffs his first two years in the NBA. But judging by the television face time LeBron receives, you'd think he has four championship rings and three MVP awards under his belt. Monday Night Football ads are the only thing on national television these days more than LeBron's face. Every time I turn on TNT or ESPN's national NBA broadcasts, LeBron is playing. And if he's not playing, the analysts are talking about him. I'm fine with the commercials, because Nike is buying that air time. Otherwise, give LeBron the amount of attention he thus far deserves, which is not much. Kobe is the best player in the NBA (if you want to have a full LeBron vs. Kobe discussion, visit the first floor of Wieland, where we debate that topic weekly). Even Dwyane Wade, LeBron's contemporary, is 100 percent more a winner than LeBron is. And don't tell me that Wade has Shaq. Wade won last year in spite of a rapidly deteriorating Shaq, not because of a valuable Shaq. Strangely, I feel alone in a sea of LeBron lovers who hope to crown a new Jordan. The only person who agrees with me that the media overhypes LeBron is a D.C. metropolitan area native, whose opinion towards LeBron is severely biased in light of the fact that last spring LeBron ripped the Wizards' heart out and crushed it. Twice.

Quitters don't live up to the hype

Raiders vs. Seahawks on this week's Monday Night Football looked like a JV vs. Varsity scrimmage gone bad. The Raiders' offensive line is either really horrible or didn't try, because quarterback Andrew Walter got sacked nine times and should have been sacked 20 times based on the protection he received. Randy Moss quit early, and then he made his quitting public before the last play of the game by taking his gloves off and then running out of bounds on a caught pass. Quitting is only one step worse than what Terrell Owens has done lately, which is drop important passes while continuing to get in people's faces. If you're going to talk like the best receiver ever, you should at least catch routine passes at critical points in games.

MNF: way too much hype

I have been tough on Monday Night Football lately, but the toughness is justified. The absurd MNF hype is pervading ESPN, and it has corrupted the single brilliant kernel of ESPN greatness: Sportscenter. Here's my question: when MNF ends and Sportscenter comes on immediately thereafter, why must Sportscenter redirect us to the MNF site for 10 more minutes of highlights and analysis that we've just heard for the past four hours? 99 percent of the post-MNF Sportscenter viewing public watched MNF. Can Sportscenter really claim to be informing us of sports news, or is some egotistical network self-service at play?

Issue 09, Submitted 2006-11-08 04:21:52