Tri-polar Kobe Can Lead Lakers to Promised Land
By Judd Olanoff, Neurotic New Yorker
Wieland Dormitory, a hot spot for professional sports discussions by Amherst College students, has informally sponsored a series of year-long, continuous debates, none more prominent or contentious than our dispute as to the relative merits of Kobe and LeBron. We've entertained various definitions of greatness and superiority-who demonstrates the most killer instinct, who defends the opposing team's best player most consistently, who takes and hits the most tough shots late in games, who makes his teammates better, who wins in the playoffs, whose presence makes the biggest difference for his team? Finally, LeBron and Kobe met in a head-to-head, nationally-televised game on Sunday, providing the most comprehensive and relevant body of evidence to date.

LeBron's Cavs pulled away in the fourth quarter and beat Kobe's Lakers, but only Kobe demonstrated a capacity to dominate for stretches. Simply put, LeBron possesses an unprecedented combination of strength and quickness for a 6'8", 240 lb. forward. He can force his way to the rim as efficiently as anyone, but his jumpshot is spotty, he defers to ill-equipped retread teammates late in games, and when he handles the ball at the top of the key, the offense devolves into a one-on-five drive/suicide mission that ends in a missed Larry Hughes jumpshot, or an ill-fated Drew Gooden hook, as much as it results in a LeBron dunk. The Cavs desperately need a true point guard, and LeBron needs to learn to love stomping on opponents' hearts at the end of tight games.

Kobe presents a substantially more complicated case. First, there exist three Kobes, which makes it ironic that Nike's commercial campaign focuses on LeBron's alleged split personalities.

Kobe #1, the original Kobe we came to know in the mid-1990s, lives in his own world and launches 30 shots per game from everywhere on the court, with no regard for defensive coverage, game situation or the open man. Kobe #2, on grand display in game seven of the Lakers' 2006 playoff series against the Suns, takes selflessness to an absurd extreme, curling into a shell and refusing to shoot, as if to say, "See Phil, you like what happens when I don't score?" Kobe #2 is checked-out Kobe. He shows up rarely; some exterior condition must induce Kobe #2's emergence. Maybe Kobe hears a reporter criticize his shot selection. Whatever the inducing factor, Kobe #2 reveals that when he wants to, Kobe can be smart, selfish, immature and vindictive. Kobe #3 is Kobe at his best.

Kobe #3 notices that he will turn 29 soon, that he is surrounded by young and talented teammates who need his guidance, and that Shaq just won a championship in Miami. Kobe #3 wants to direct and wants to win; he wants to forge a Jordan-like legacy of leadership. Kobe #3 takes playmaking and passing seriously, expending serious energy to get his teammates great looks. He shoots when good shots present themselves. He takes over the game when the time comes. Kobe #3 is the best basketball player in the world, and he has the ability and willingness to lead the Lakers deep into the playoffs.

The point is this: With LeBron, we know what we're dealing with. LeBron is not an enigma. With Kobe, on the other hand, any manifestation of his tri-polar disorder might surface on a given night. If Kobe #1 or Kobe #2 shows up, then we can have a serious debate about whether LeBron is better than Kobe or vice versa. That's only because Kobe #1 and Kobe #2 are Kobe at less than full potential. When Kobe #3 shows up, LeBron deserves no part in our discussion. Kobe #3 is a determined playmaker and killer, a la MJ. LeBron should buy a ticket, sit back and learn from Kobe #3's execution. If Kobe #3, for the first time ever, shows up for a serious stretch this postseason, the Lakers will reach at least the second round.

ESPN can't get it right

I lambast ESPN with some regularity, but I have to admit, I liked the 30,000th SportsCenter commemorative show. Even if ESPN's "sports began on earth the day our network was founded" attitude sickens me, it was fun to watch top highlights marking the best and worst from three decades of sports.

Just as I thought ESPN finally did something good, they proceed to trot out two disgraceful new features. First, they now run a series of shameless NASCAR-glorifying commercials, suggesting that ESPN is the source for car racing news. In other words, memo to the Deep South and to NASCAR lovers everywhere: We're looking to pander and exploit a new constituency with huge potential, no matter the worthiness of the product we have to cover. NASCAR is not a sport. It is much less a sport than either golf or squash. If ESPN wants to gain untapped constituencies by championing non-sports, then why not run ads calling itself the badminton network?

Second point: On a loosely-related note, I hate the new ESPN Deportes updates during SportsCenter. I say keep foreign sports events out of SC with the exception, perhaps, of the most important annual soccer matches. But if ESPN insists, in keeping with its ever-growing ego, that it should cover the whole world, then give us a quick around-the-world update, not just an ESPN Deportes update, which, of course, exists only because ESPN wants to increase its bottom-line by catering to its Spanish-speaking viewers.

Gilbert vs. Jodran

When Gilbert Arenas fell flat on his face with a nine-point dud performance the other day against Portland after promising 50+, he blamed his failure on Wizards Head Coach Eddie Jordan. Arenas said Jordan focuses too much on defense, so Arenas couldn't focus enough on scoring. Jordan responded by ripping into Arenas. He said, Arenas is a scorer, not a leader, and the only leader on the team is Antawn Jamison. One day after this whole mess, both Jordan and Arenas said that they have resolved the conflict. Either Arenas is lying, or he's incredibly aloof. He should hate Jordan right now. Players have a right to resort to immaturity and complain about coaching strategy in the media. But part of being a great coach in professional sports is refusing to ever tear apart players in public. It's a sign of weakness and inability to get through to the team directly. It just makes the players hate you and stop trying. Case in point: Knicks of last year under Larry Brown, who routinely threw them under the bus.

Issue 15, Submitted 2007-02-14 03:18:28